Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Roller Coaster.

The Dr. called today to give us a little update. Our conversation felt a little bit like our life feels right now. Up, down, up, down, up...down.

UP: The pathologist hasn't been able to find any cancer cells.
DOWN: Yet. He is running even more tests. We should know more on Thursday.
UP: The were able to get most of the fluid out, and only a very small amount remains.
DOWN: They are pretty positive that even though they haven't found any cancer cells yet, it is %100 happening because of the cancer, and not because of the radiation. We were really hoping that it was just a fluke side effect of the radiation.
UP: It seems the Dr. was a bit concerned that the fluid was going to change some of the mets to his lungs, but his chest x-ray looks the same.
DOWN: He will now have to get chest x-rays every 2 weeks to see if the fluid is returning.
DOWN: If the fluid comes back he will have to have surgery.
DOWN: Painful surgery.
DOWN: Checking online it seems that best case he will have to stay in the hospital for 4 days.
DOWN: Worst case? Up to 2 weeks.
UP: He may not have to have surgery. If that darn fluid stays away.
UP: You are all praying it will stay away. And crossing toes and fingers. Do it. Now. :)
DOWN: When I asked the Dr. how concerned we should be, he admitted to be concerned himself. I do not like it when the Dr. worries. Like, not at all.

Do you notice more DOWNS then UPS? Me too. I really am praying that Thursday changes all that.

We feel a little deflated tonight. And worried. And bummed.
Can I tell you how much we hate cancer?
It's a lot, like an unmentionable amount.

I feel bad that T is in pain already, and may have to deal with a painful surgery. I feel bad that he has to go through it all. I feel a little bit bad for myself that I can't do anything to help him, and I don't know how to change it. I feel a little selfish because I am pouting about things that may not happen (like that trip we want to book, right now). I feel a little smacked around. Mostly I just miss worrying about things like when we are gonna find time to mow the lawn, what my hair looks like, and what shoes go with what shirt. I miss the small stuff feeling like big stuff.

(Does that make any sense?)

Anyhow, here is a quick video that will make you smile after my whiny post. Your gonna find yourself singing it all night long.

Thanks again for checking in!


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4 comments:

The Falkers said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!

Oh my goodness - that was awesome! :-) I love that you are finding things to make you smile through this! You are amazing and wonderful and I am so sorry you are dealing with this... Lots of prayers, fingers and toes crossing, good thoughts and more prayers coming your way!!!!

XOXO - Michelle

Eileen said...

I'm glad you are updating us. But I'm hating the news. I hate cancer. I hate that you guys have to deal with cancer.

Hate.

Love,
Me

Lorinda said...

Love this show...nothing like a good scrubs episode to make you smile :) I'm soo sorry that you are dealing with all of this and wish I could take some of it away, so you could worry about the little things - I feel pretty selfish about the things I worry about. I will be praying and crossing everything I can, and hopefully Thursday will bring some reasurring news. Love you friend. Let me know what I can do.

Watkins said...

I'm with Eileen. I hate cancer!! I sound like a broken record, but you are in our prayers and thoughts. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this waiting and worrying. Sending love from us!