Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Roller Coaster.

The Dr. called today to give us a little update. Our conversation felt a little bit like our life feels right now. Up, down, up, down, up...down.

UP: The pathologist hasn't been able to find any cancer cells.
DOWN: Yet. He is running even more tests. We should know more on Thursday.
UP: The were able to get most of the fluid out, and only a very small amount remains.
DOWN: They are pretty positive that even though they haven't found any cancer cells yet, it is %100 happening because of the cancer, and not because of the radiation. We were really hoping that it was just a fluke side effect of the radiation.
UP: It seems the Dr. was a bit concerned that the fluid was going to change some of the mets to his lungs, but his chest x-ray looks the same.
DOWN: He will now have to get chest x-rays every 2 weeks to see if the fluid is returning.
DOWN: If the fluid comes back he will have to have surgery.
DOWN: Painful surgery.
DOWN: Checking online it seems that best case he will have to stay in the hospital for 4 days.
DOWN: Worst case? Up to 2 weeks.
UP: He may not have to have surgery. If that darn fluid stays away.
UP: You are all praying it will stay away. And crossing toes and fingers. Do it. Now. :)
DOWN: When I asked the Dr. how concerned we should be, he admitted to be concerned himself. I do not like it when the Dr. worries. Like, not at all.

Do you notice more DOWNS then UPS? Me too. I really am praying that Thursday changes all that.

We feel a little deflated tonight. And worried. And bummed.
Can I tell you how much we hate cancer?
It's a lot, like an unmentionable amount.

I feel bad that T is in pain already, and may have to deal with a painful surgery. I feel bad that he has to go through it all. I feel a little bit bad for myself that I can't do anything to help him, and I don't know how to change it. I feel a little selfish because I am pouting about things that may not happen (like that trip we want to book, right now). I feel a little smacked around. Mostly I just miss worrying about things like when we are gonna find time to mow the lawn, what my hair looks like, and what shoes go with what shirt. I miss the small stuff feeling like big stuff.

(Does that make any sense?)

Anyhow, here is a quick video that will make you smile after my whiny post. Your gonna find yourself singing it all night long.

Thanks again for checking in!



The Falkers said...


Oh my goodness - that was awesome! :-) I love that you are finding things to make you smile through this! You are amazing and wonderful and I am so sorry you are dealing with this... Lots of prayers, fingers and toes crossing, good thoughts and more prayers coming your way!!!!

XOXO - Michelle

Eileen said...

I'm glad you are updating us. But I'm hating the news. I hate cancer. I hate that you guys have to deal with cancer.



Lorinda said...

Love this show...nothing like a good scrubs episode to make you smile :) I'm soo sorry that you are dealing with all of this and wish I could take some of it away, so you could worry about the little things - I feel pretty selfish about the things I worry about. I will be praying and crossing everything I can, and hopefully Thursday will bring some reasurring news. Love you friend. Let me know what I can do.

Watkins said...

I'm with Eileen. I hate cancer!! I sound like a broken record, but you are in our prayers and thoughts. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this waiting and worrying. Sending love from us!