Thursday, November 29, 2012

Blood Infusion, CAT Scan, and Bone Scan time.

Travis had a bone infusion today,
and was able to discuss how he's progressing
with the Dr.

Sidenote: The good Dr. has started calling him 
'Professor' because of the beard.
I like it.

Travis told him how awful the past few months
have been,
and gave him the long list of side effects and talked
at length about the quality of life with this drug.

Like, the fact that

We both just can't imagine him doing many
more full 4 week rounds of this.
It's just so hard for him to crawl out of bed,
and really, he hasn't felt even remotely decent for weeks.
It's weighing on him, and all of us.

With that in mind- we are making some decisions
on whether to lower his dose to 35 mg from 50,
or to try 3 weeks on, 1 off,
or even 2 on, 1 off.
That is still undecided,
but hopefully we will make a choice soon.

He is going in tomorrow to get a blood infusion,
which we are both happy about.
I'm praying it will give him an extra boost before
the next round starts.
And maybe we will have a good weekend!

Tuesday he will get his CAT scan.
Yep, we are scared.

Thursday he will get a bone scan.
It's been a long time since he's had one,
so he's due.
And yep, scared for that too.

Those days are days I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies.
And my stomach drops when I think about them.

Say a little prayer for him.
Thanks again to everyone for everything.

All these dinners with desserts are really killing my waistline,
but they sure taste good!

Sunday, November 25, 2012

{Sutent Round 5]

We made it through another round.
But barely.

Wow, this one was rough!

I used to feel like I could write a blog post
with a pretty upbeat outlook.

And I feel a little bit like a downer now.

Sutent is rough.
And doesn't seem to get better over time.
So forgive me for sounding whiny,
or blue, or reeaaaallly tired.

I'm going for honesty instead.

This round was particularly hard on Travis
and we are now into his first off week and 
he still isn't bouncing back completely.
We were so looking forward to 2 weeks of him feeling
good, and we are moving onto week 2 and he hasn't really
had too many good days yet.
Praying this next week is a good one!

It was also a different round,
and it's hard to explain why it was so bad-
it isn't just one complaint or ailment that
makes it rough.

He wakes up most mornings after a stomach cramp filled,
very stuffed up,
sleepless night and his eyes are practically swollen shut.
And the fatigue.
Oh the fatigue!
It's something different then just being a little tired.
It's like he could sleep for days on end and
still feel exhausted.
He pries himself out of bed,
and fights through his nausea most of the morning.
He's not able to eat and is lucky if he has an appetite by lunch.

And the cold.
Who knew that that side effect would be so troublesome?
It feels a good 20 degrees colder to him,
and takes twice as long for him to warm up.
He walks in the door and has to bundle up for a good hour
before he warms up. 
And then I force him to eat a little,
(remember, he has no appetite)...
and then he is pretty much down for the count.

It hasn't been a fun 4 weeks.
I miss him.
And he misses him.
And we all miss the way things once were around here.

I hate seeing him feel so crummy.
And he hates it even more I'm sure.

But we've learned to take it one day at a time.
And we make the best of 'good days'.
 And we even try to make the best of 
'bad days'.

The hardest part of all of this is we never know what's
'cancer caused' and what's 'side effect caused'.
 Like this little cough he has.
Is it a side effect?
Is it growth in his lungs?

Every time something small like that comes
up, my stomach drops in worry.

We should have answers to some of those
questions with a scan being scheduled soon.

Praying, so hard, that Sutent is still doing it's job.
I know we have so many praying with us.

I'm so grateful to have a husband who can feel
as awful as he does,
and still work every. single. day.
And still be an amazing Dad.
He is never too tired for his kids.
We are so lucky to have him.

I will post again when we know the date of the scan.
Thanks again to all of you who have brought in weekly 
dinners, and who bail me out whenever I'm in over my head.
Which is often.