Thursday, September 26, 2013


How do I even begin describing our life right now?
It's strange.  And at times completely unreal.  And at times completely normal.
Does that make sense?
No?  I know.  But that is how it is.
We go through a completely normal day...
Trav works.  The ladies go to school.
I bake cookies and clean and do laundry and homework.
And then Trav gets home and he's pretty exhausted.
So we spend time together at home....being completely lazy.
Eating dinner in front of the TV like complete couch potatoes, 
and letting the kids play outside...
they forget to shut the door and the crisp air comes in and our
house feels warm and cozy.
The ladies are ever Trav's champions.
They grab him water when he needs it.
Or a warm blanket if he's cold....
They worry and cry and say the sweetest prayers,
and then they are off being young again and 
distracting themselves by being lovely little girls.
Just as it should be.
They are a breath of fresh air and a reminder that 
God loves us.  Because they are so special.
The way we love our kids, there aren't words to express it.
In my head for the past few weeks has been a song by Greg Laswell called comes and goes.
Really, it's not the whole song....but just the lines in the chorous-
"It comes and goes in waves".
That describes it perfectly.
It hits rapidly-and hurts.  And then we have to push it back.
We refuse to cry and complain for the time we have.
I least the entire time.
We will make memories together.
And watch the same mind numbing TV shows.
We will eat our favorite takeout and Trav will still win
at Settlers of Catan.
And when I tuck him in at night it will hurt for a bit again.
It's all very bittersweet.
But for now,
life goes on.  
And we are gonna enjoy it while we can.
I wish we didn't have to,
but we can do hard things.
We are incredibly thankful to our lovely family 
and our amazing friends and support system.
We are always so taken care of.
  Last night yet another event was held in our honor.  Travis wasn't feeling well, and I didn't want to leave him home alone for too long, so I was only there for an hour....but my heart was so full.  Seeing so many people who love Travis all in one room just makes me feel so blessed.  Our family has been able to survive, and live a really normal life because of the generosity of others.  We've been able to pursue chemo's that wouldn't have been an option financially, because others have sacrificed for us.  We've been able to enjoy our time together and make a lot of memories due to the kindness of so many people.  All Travis has been able to think of in the past few weeks is our future.  How to make sure we can survive without him.  He wants to make sure we are taken care of.  I just want to let those who have continually helped us, and to my dear friends who put our latest event together, that it has helped to ease Trav's mind.  Thank you all for always supporting us.  The last 5 years have taught us so much about love and service. I know that in the future, my season is changing...and I sure hope I can pay some of this love forward.


Hiatts said...

love you guys! I am in awe with your strength!

Connie said...

Travis and Hayley,

I hope that you know that I truely care about you. When I start to have my selfish pity parties I think of you and you lift ME up! I pray night and day that some how your burdens may be lifted.

Love, Connie Cupcake! :)

Bryon Gundersen said...

Trav, Hayley, and The Girls,

I know that you and Sara became friends while Trav and I were battling cancer. I was hoping that he would pull through it and be able to join me in our walk for cancer(I'm still thinking He might). Just take this time to to enjoy each other.

Love Bryon

Letti said...

(((hugs))) Hayley and Travis you guys are in my prayers!