Thursday, August 20, 2009

Cancer.is.awful.

Last night as I was settling down for the night, checking blogs, e-mails, and catching up on celebrity gossip, I got an e-mail that a friend's daughter, who is only 4, has just been diagnosed with AML Leukemia.

I just sat here and cried and ached for my friend. Then cried some more.
I hate cancer. Really, I do.

I've been thinking none stop about this nightmare that they are facing. Thinking about my kids, and just wanting to squeeze them. Thinking about my friend, and just knowing how much she must ache watching her child go through this. It is so unfair, and so wrong. So wrong.

I also thought a lot about what we went through those first few days after finding out about Travis. I thought of the shock, the sadness, and the fear. Some of it's really blurry, like I don't remember cooking, or eating for that matter. I don't remember getting my kids ready or entertaining them at all. But I will never forget sitting in the Doctors office hearing the news. I remember what I was wearing. I remember the snow, I remember being embarrassed because I hadn't done my make-up yet, and I remember telling my family and friends.

I relived that in my mind last night, and felt that pit it my stomach because I know that a friend is experiencing this same thing, though maybe worse because it's her child. Her baby.

And then I thought about what's going on in my life now. We are in the same situation we were 2 years ago when Trav's cancer returned. Treatments every week, scans every 3 months, blah blah blah, but somehow those feelings have (maybe not disappeared) but lessened. Why? How have we gone from those awful feelings we first had, to feeling normal again?

I realized it's because we have had so much support. So many prayers sent our way. We have friends who help when we need them by bringing dinner, mowing the lawn, or just being here to chat. Friends who let us cry when we need to, and complain when we need to. Friends that help us laugh and help us forget. And we've have had so much time to digest it all.

So tonight I first want to say thank you again to our friends. Till last night I hadn't realized how much we've healed in the past 2 years, and I think that we owe you all for that. We are very, very blessed. And second, I want you to add my friend and her family to your prayers. I pray that her family has the support that we have had while they fight their fight, because it helps so much. No one should have to watch their child experience something so awful, and I hope with all my heart that their family will experience some of the beauty we've felt, while they are going through this hell.

(I'm not sure if they want the world to know their business, so I will keep their names to myself for now, but please, remember them today.)

Oh, and for those of you who come here to check on Trav, he is still plugging away. His treatments are still weekly, and he has found that taking 5 hour energy on treatment day actually helps a bit. (who knew?) His mouth has been swelling a bit still, but the cankers aren't as frequent. A new addition to his side affects have been pretty bad chest pains Thursday nights and Friday days. He still has a great attitude, and I still dig him. I'm thinking a scan her in a few weeks, so we will let you know.

5 comments:

Eileen said...

You are the sweetest, most compassionate person I know. I will certainly pray for this sweet little girl, and continue to pray for you, Travis and the ladeez.

KIRSTEN said...

Oh my gosh Hayley...you guys are strong. It is great to be able to read of your successes, trials, emotions, etc. My SIL will find out tomarrow what stage of breast cancer she has, and we have all been a mess. Thanks for sharing. Your posts are inspirational!

Bre said...

You are so wonderful Hayley! I admire you so much and your beautiful family! I will for sure pray for your friend and her sweet little girl!

Kelly said...

Oh Hayley..I have never even seen this blog before and I hate it and love it. You are so wonderful as is Trav. I just hate that you two have to go through all of this. I'm sitting on the bed crying my eyes out and Julie thinks I'm a weirdo :) Adam is already learning to act like a man and just pats my arm and walks away. We keep you in our prayers and hope that it miraculous disappears.

Chanelle said...

I pray for a miracle for your family, because it just seems so wrong that you face this everyday. We love you guys! You are so sweet and considerate to post about your friend. I think you've been so blessed with your friends and family because you truly appreciate them and deserve them. I also have a friend whose two year old has leukemia. And it's just sickening, really. She watched her Baby go through chemo. I can't think of anything more heartbreaking.