3 months

Yesterday marks 3 months without Travis.

3 months without my very best friend.

I think as time has gone on,

some days have gotten easier.

We, as a family, have gotten in a rhythm.

The girls get home from school and we do homework,

play with friends,

go to lessons...

life moves on.

And we are trying to fill it with a lot of joy.

 But some days have seemed much, much harder.

The days when the girls come home from school

feeling incredibly jealous because a friends dad came to lunch at school.

Or nights when I feel really alone,

because my partner is gone.

There are nights when I just ache to take care of him again.

I knew I'd miss waking up to give him meds and fighting side effects with him,

but I didn't think I'd miss it this much.

I want to cook his favorite dinner,

or even just want to complain about something that is driving me crazy...

something that anyone else wouldn't care about,

but Trav would have.

That being said,

those times are also a great reminder of how much

love I still have for him.

I'm glad that I married someone that I still miss so deeply. 

The girls and I have been finding old pictures of Travis,

and watching old little video clips...

and hearing his voice just makes us all so happy.

In most of the videos, it's T and I videoing the girls doing something.

You can hear him laugh in the background,

or cheer for them.

The love he has for them is pretty adorable,

even just by the tone of his voice.

I just found these gems.

I mean.

I can't even say the love I have for these precious moments!

 

 We spent the 3 months mark skiing.

The girls in classes,

and me with my dad.

Surrounded by the snow capped peaks,

the blue sky,

and the sun!

We are full of hope that 2014 will be a year of heeling for us.

I  realized I didn't blog about this at Christmas,

and really want to remember it in the future.

I bought myself a new wallet this year for Christmas.

In the morning as the girls were downstairs playing with their spoils,
I was emptying out my old wallet and filling my new one.

I found a pocket of notes from Travis, that I have moved from wallet to wallet over the years.

I had forgotten about them.

This one was the first one I opened.

I felt like I had a lovely gift right from Travis that morning.

It is 13 years old, but quite fitting for now-I think.

Thanks to all of you who keep remembering us in all you do.

We have been able to survive because so many have helped us smile.

Happy 2014 to everyone!