Those [insert favorite swear word here] Kidneys.

It seems with T's cancer, whenever we get back to 'normal' and comfortable, things smack us in the face again.

This time, it's back where it all began.

The kidney.

Each week when T goes in for a treatment he gets his blood drawn to check his kidney function (keep in mind he only has 1 kidney left, so we like it to work...)

The past 2 weeks, it hasn't been great.
Today at treatment 127, the Dr. decided he needed to lower his normal dose of poison for the next few weeks to see if it brings his kidney function back up. His concern is that our wonder drug is doing the damage to his kidney function.

Not really great news.

And I'm not sure what to pray for.

Here is the dilemma in a nutshell:

If it is the drug is doing the damage, then he will obviously have to try something new. New side effects. New worries that it may not work. New game plan. We are kinda used to our game plan now, and in our dreamland would really like to stick with it for...ever. In the sad world of RCC there aren't a whole lot of options, so the longer we can stick with one drug, the better. Way better.

But, if it isn't the drug doing the damage, then that means for some reason, his kidney just isn't doing it's job, and that's no bueno.

You see the problem, right?

Tonight we are once again reminded of how awful this beast is, and how much we really loathe it. You hate it too, yes?

So if your wondering what to pray for, join the club. We aren't really sure. But asking for good kidney function and a wonder drug to keep working is a start, and we can hope the big guy upstairs gets our concerns.

Thanks for checking in, we always appreciate your support.

3 years

3 years ago tomorrow, I wrote this post on our family blog.

3 years! And as of Thursday 118 treatments! My goodness. Time flies when your having fun...haha!

I spent a good while reading through the posts that Christmas and was overwhelmed with emotion. I read through very wet and blurry eyes and have been thinking so much about all that has happened since.

I will never forget that Christmas. I will never forget sitting in the Doctors office and the look on his face as he told us Trav's results. I will never forget how completely and utterly terrified I felt then. I wont soon forget driving Trav home from his first treatment in a complete blizzard. I wont forget waiting...and wondering what kind of reaction he would have to the poison in his body. I'd like to forget the empty feeling I had when I really had time to sit down and think about what we were facing, but still hanging on to those memories too. I wont forget the awful prognosis we received, and thinking "could this be our last family Christmas?"

I also will never forget how taken care of we were that year. Daily we would come home to gifts of kindness on our front door from faceless friends. We were so blessed. (We are still, I know). I wont forget the flowers, gifts for my kids, and cookies (my thighs still haven't forgot those cookies!). I wont forget the words that so many people spoke to us that pulled us out of our funk. I wont forget the strangers who let me know they too, were praying for our family. I wont ever forget how much we learned to lean on one another, and so many of you that Christmas.

That Christmas 3 years ago, was the most awful and most beautiful Christmas to date. And as our 3 year cancerversary (I made that word up..you like?) comes near, I can't help but feel so very thankful for all the time our family has been given.

3 years! 3 Christmases! And gosh darn it, I'm counting on more then that.

My favorite thing about looking back at our life then, is comparing it to now. We have sure learned to adapt! Sometimes it's so easy for even us to forget how sick T is. What a blessing! We have been able to really enjoy the past 3 years. Sure, we would like to take Thursday nights out of the week completely...and when T is really in pain, we are reminded again, and yes those pesky scans come along and give us a swift reminder...but still, life is good!

I just wanted to remind myself how blessed our little family has been and to thank all of you who are still here, and who have been here all along. We are so so so thankful. It's such a beautiful time for us to be reminded of what's important.

I can't imagine anything noteworthy coming up on the old cancer blog before Christmas, so I'm wishing you all a Very Merry one!

Just a little update.

I'm sorry to have neglected this blog since my last post, but I've lacked the energy, desire, and the time. Each time I take a little break from this blog, I get many worried e-mails and phone calls. I'm sorry to make you all worry, but remember: No news is good news. It's when I post a lot that you should worry. ;)

In the last post I mentioned Trav was experiencing some pretty severe pain, and the Doctor couldn't really understand why because the scan results looked normal. (I use the term normal loosely, I should say normal for T.)

For a few weeks T was on some pretty good pain meds that really helped with the pain, but obviously he doesn't want to need them all the time, so he is done taking them now and the pain has subsided. I wouldn't say he feels great, but he feels much better and for that we are both very grateful. He's only had a few really hard nights since he's stopped taking the meds, and I'm hoping they will lessen with time.

I'd say his biggest complaint right now is the chest pain, and night sweats. He had them first when he was diagnosed the first time, and for some reason they are back.

I kinda like telling him he's going through menopause but he doesn't think I'm nearly as funny as I think I am.....weird.

In my last post I wrote that hospice was brought in for Thomas Goodwin, and on Veterans day, he passed away. Take a moment and go here to read his beautiful obituary. I realize more and more how lucky we are that things have gone so well for Trav. We have been blessed beyond measure for how long his treatments have worked. I only wish The Goodwin's could have been as lucky. They are good people and I hope that Debbie can find some comfort in the hard months and years to come.

Thanks for always checking in. Sure appreciate you all!

Results.

I feel terrible that I have yet to update the blog with the results from the scan. And I can tell I've got some of you worried by the e-mails/texts you've been sending.

But never fear, I've just been extremely busy today and have barely had time to respond to anything.

The scan looked good.
The rib mets even went and shrunk a teensy tiny bit.
But that darn kidney tumor went and grew a teensy tiny bit...
so I guess we're even.

The Dr. was pleased with the results, and happy that the fluid seems to be staying away. There is still a bit in there, but nothing new. And we are happy with the news that things are stable and he can keep on taking his current drug, but also a little perplexed as to why he has been in soooo much pain.

He's missing sleep.
And breathing without aching.
And sneezing without wanting to cry.

The Dr. is going to help us try some new meds to help T manage his pain. Wish him luck!

We both can't express our gratitude for the many calls/texts/e-mails/and cookies from you all every time we go through this. I'm sure it gets old taking such good care of us. Just know it doesn't go unappreciated and we do realize how blessed we are to have you.

After writing this post I clicked a link to a dear cyberfriend, who's husband is also battling RCC. They have had a really rough couple of months and could use some prayers as they have decided it's time for hospice to come in. Send a prayer or 2 to Tom and Debbie Goodwin. I know I will.

I hate stupid cancer.

Back at it.

Ugh.

I loathe logging into this blog, and much prefer ignoring it (and the cancer) completely. We've had a very nice break from weekly treatments, (Trav got 2 weeks off!), weekly x-ray's, and the Doctors office in general.

If you live under a rock and don't already know, we were able to take an amazing trip to Spain where T served his mission, and seriously didn't think about cancer once the whole time we were gone. (Click here for pics of the trip.)

It did wonders for both my soul, and Trav's.

But now we are back in the real world, and all the crap that comes along with it.

Travis did really well on our trip, he had lots of energy, and felt pretty good. But since we've been home things haven't gone as well.

He is in a lot of pain in his rib, and his chest.
Pain to the point of waking up at 3 a.m. because it hurts so bad.
He hasn't really been able to sleep a full night since we've been back, and that is no bueno. (A little Spanish for ya....)

It's hard to get back to normal and have to face it all again. I swear after 3 years of this I'd should be used to it, but I just can't get over how hard it is to watch my husband be in pain.

It hurts my heart.

Anyhow, today he went in for a treatment and talked to the Dr. about his pain. He will have another fun scan on Monday so they can see why he is in so much pain, and so they can figure out how to treat it.

I'm praying, really hard, that they wont find anything new. The chest pain worries me a bit, because his chest usually only hurts on treatment days. But you never know, maybe it's the cold weather, or just overexertion from our trip.

Either way, we will know on Monday. And I'm asking again for prayers sent his way.

He's kind of awesome, so it really is worth your time.
I'll keep you posted.

Sweet releif.

Trav went in yesterday for his chest x-ray.
Wanna know what they found?

No fluid.

NONE.

He said even the Dr. looked a little shocked.

I have a new found testimony of prayers, and fasting.

Now, don't feel bad if I completely ignore you till our next scan. I'm looking forward to a cancer blogging break.

(BTW, the next scan will be toward the end of October.)

Love to all.

Thursday Night Therepy

I owe a little apology to those of you wondering how Trav's x-ray went on Thursday. He went in before his treatment, and after waiting for an hour and a half, couldn't wait any longer because he had to go get his weekly dose of poison.

He will get it this week some time, and I will keep you posted.

Till then, enjoy this picture of Sienna and Dad snuggling the Thursday night blues away. Yes, they are both out cold, and yes, it's only 7:15 p.m.

I tell you what, that little lady is good for his soul.