Rambling.

Have you noticed that we tend to just ignore this blog? I think it's a pretty good metaphor mirroring how we deal with T's cancer. We like to just let it sit in the back of our minds, but don't like to stir things up too often. Call it denial if you will, but we like it this way! ;)

Just remember. No news = Good news.

Since my last post things have been going pretty well. Trav's back pain was pretty unbearable for a while there till they figured out what was going on. Since he only has 1 kidney he has to be careful with the pain meds he is taking, so the Doc. prescribed him some Celebrex.

You know Celebrex right? It's the commercial that is chuck full of old peeps.

We just laugh. But, it has helps and for that we are so thankful!

The last few weeks I've been reflecting quite a bit on the journey we've been on in the last few years. I've stumbled on to a lot of blogs of others who are facing a cancer battle of their own, and it always sends little pictures in my mind of moments we've experienced because of this trial. I remember clear back to the first diagnosis going from thinking he had an ulcer, to learning he has a massive tumor in his kidney, to his kidney being removed all within 2 weeks. I've looked back to that brief moment in time when we thought the cancer was completely gone, and had a few years of "normalcy" before it returned. And when I think back to those times I realize that even then we were completely changed. It's one of those things that I just can't explain, and cannot begin to describe.

I remember the feeling of complete despair the day we found out it came back, and came back with a bang. And when I look back on those first few months I wonder how in the world we've made it to the happy place we are in now.

Really, right now we live life with cancer clear at the back of our minds. Sure, we have days where it is there, but we've learned to find a beautiful balance of normalcy. We have a really wonderful life together, and have learned to accept our future whatever it may be, but we wont let this effect our present. We are too busy cherishing our little ladies, and spoiling them rotten. We are to busy sleeping in Saturday mornings, snuggling in front of the fire while watching American Idol, and getting fired up at each other over board games.

I get scared that we are at this point, because it seems that whenever we get used to "life" again, somehow, something comes along and knocks us down, but it sure is nice to come together as a family, and let that be our focus.

I'm so thankful for those of you who have been here for us to help us find our groove. I'm not naive enough to think that our lives will always be full of this balance we have acquired. I know that our future has a whole lot of unsure holes in it, and I know that I may fall apart many times ahead, but for right now, life just feels so good!

Trav's doing good and we have another month before scan time rolls around, so I imagine I'll continue to ignore this blog till then. (It's for the best, do you see how much I ramble once I start?)

Thanks for all the continued prayers, and the buckets of love.

You are stellar friends. (And, btw, I love the word Stellar.)

A scare.

Last week Travis started having some pretty bad lower back pain. It persisted through the whole week, so when he went in for his treatment on Thursday he mentioned it to his doctor. The doctor said it could be just a pulled muscle (fingers crossed), but it possibly could mean that his cancer has spread to his spine.

Friday Travis went in for an x-ray in the afternoon, and we spent the weekend terrified and waiting.

I wish there was some way I could explain the anguish of waiting for results this big. This life changing.

If it had spread, that would mean the treatments that have miraculously been working thus far, have stopped.

It would mean that once again, we'd have to start brand new in figuring out how to deal with this awful disease, and I don't really think emotionally, (I) could handle it.....

But, after waiting all weekend with visions of doom, we learned that Travis has arthritis in his spine, or degenerative spine disease.

We don't know much about it, but what we've found out by looking on line is that it is just gonna cause him pain (more pain. Poor Travis), and sometimes it will flair up, and others he wont feel it at all.

We are so relieved that the cancer hasn't spread. And I find it a bit sad and pathetic that we are all so happy that he has arthritis.

Over the weekend we had so many people praying for us, and so many people fasting for us. I can't tell you how very blessed we felt. We have beautiful friends with big old hearts. You all mean the world to us.

Thank you.

Travis is thinking of starting a pool: Which body part will fail him next? (He said it jokingly..)

Results

The Doctor's office closes at 12:30 on Friday's, so Travis went and picked up the results from the Hospital and read them himself...

As far as we can tell, things are looking pretty good! The spot on his rib grew a tiny bit, but it seems everything else is the same. If the Doctor says something different on Monday, I will update the blog.

Thanks again for thinking of us, praying for us, and being there for us. It's humbling to have so many people looking out for you.

Friday....

Hey all,

Start Praying.
Crossing your fingers.
And your toes.
Fasting, if you wish.
Thinking happy good thoughts.
Wishing, silently and out loud.
and if you have a lucky underwear, wear them.

Cause it's scan time again.

Friday.

Because of some scheduling stuff, instead of 3 months since his last one, it's been 5. I'm a little nervous. Were hoping to see results Friday afternoon, but if not, after a VERY long weekend, we will get them Monday.

Either way, we will let you know.
Thanks in advance for those of you who are taking my list above seriously. We appreciate you all!

I hope I win.

www.sweetlifeinthevalley.com

Click there for a free trip to D-land!

Bryon

One thing about being in the cancer club is that you are really never, ever alone. Someone understands what you are going through, someone has been there, and someone always knows someone who has been there.

A while back my brother found out someone he served his mission with has cancer. Doing a bit of research he found his family has a blog.

www.bryonscrappycancer.blogspot.com

Sound familiar?

Stage 4.

Sound familiar?

2 beautiful little girls.

Sound familiar?

And one hot, awesome wife.

Sound familiar? :)

Reading through their blog always reminds me that there is someone out there who really understands it all. This family gets the uncertainty that comes with it all. They get the ups and downs.

Bryon's cancer is Gioblastoma, and his road has been different and I dare say more difficult than ours. He is now unable to work, and is doing a clinical trial that I pray will work for their family. They have amazing attitudes (I can tell through their blog), and just seem to be amazing people.

Their blog is auctioning off items right now. All of the proceeds will go to their family. They deserve this, trust me.

Why don't you head here. Read there story, and check to see if you need anything!

{71}

Trav had his 71st treatment yesterday. Ugh. 71.
When he informed me of the number last night, I tried to do the math of how many he will have to do to live to 84. (All I'm asking for is 50 more years. Just 50).

Obviously, I don't do math with that big of numbers.

Thankfully the mouth sores are all but gone, and were hoping this time they stay away! Thanks to all of you who gave us your canker advice.

Last night we put the kids to bed and I drug him downstairs to watch the premier of Grey's Anatomy. (I need to make it clear that I drug him, and this wasn't by his choice). We both just had to laugh at the scenes with Izzy and when she speaks of when you hear stage 4 cancer, you just assume you wont make it. You never assume you will just have to learn to "live with it".

We feel you Izzy.

Of course, we aren't complaining. Cause we sure like the living part.
I'm just saying.
We feel you Izzy.

Things are going fine here. His mouth is feeling better, and he's golfing tonight, so he must be doing okay...:) Thanks for checking in!