Crappy Cancer

Next Chapter

2012-02-07T20:42:00.000-08:00

Today we made the trip to Hunstman
to meet our new Dr. and discuss our next step
for Trav's treatment.

We weren't really sure what to expect,
but both kind of assumed we'd come
home with options and lots to think of.

It didn't really go that way.

Instead
we came home with a plan.

But as I sit here trying to recap the day
it's all a blur.
We were there for 3 hours
and met with 3 different people.
Ran some blood work,
scheduled a whole lot of tests in the next few weeks,
and have been trying to let everything sink
in all afternoon, so forgive me if this post
is a complete incoherent mess.
I'm tired.

The Dr. told us a few stats first.
1-A good chunk of RCC patients cannot take this drug.
Trav can because he is young,
has the correct type of RCC,
and is in really good health (you know, other then the cancer.)

2-47% of the people who can take IL-2 have some sort of
response, meaning shrinkage or the very rare few who have their
cancer disappear.
But remember, that's very-very rare.

3-Because of the drug Trav's been taking for the past 4 years,
the odds of IL-2 working for him go down.
They work completely differently and he has
absolutely NO idea if the IL-2 will respond after Torisel.
Trav will be the first person to try it out in that order.
He said he normally wouldn't even suggest it,
but feels like it's worth a shot because of T's age and health.
He then said that he wants Trav to stop taking Torisel, right now.
So for the next 4 weeks it will get out of his system.
I totally get where he is coming from,
but am highly afraid of the cancer having a field day for
the next 4 weeks with no treatments to stop it.
But-I have complete trust in the Dr and if he says it's ok...
I guess it is.
Right?
Reassure me, someone.

After that, we both felt a little deflated
until he said it's basically your best, and only shot
at getting rid of the cancer.
It's a small chance, but it's a chance and that's something.
His words: "Your young, you have to try to get rid of it if you can."

And that pretty much sealed the deal.

Minutes later we were meeting with a lovely Dr.
who actually is there while administering the drug
and would pretty much be with us through it all.
I liked her. She put me at ease.

So here's the plan so far-
We go in 2 weeks Trav to run some tests- (heart, stress)-
and he will get a dose of a drug called Zometa to help
strengthen his bones.

Then on the 1st of March he will go in for a
Scan, Bone Scan, and we will meet the Dr. with the
results to make sure his body is capable for the drugs.

Then...March 4th....we head to Disneyland.
Yep, you read right,
Disneyland.
We had booked a trip just before all
of this crap started, and the Dr. feels completely
okay with us going...so we're going.
Feeling slightly guilty about spending the money,
but so excited for a week together,
just the four of us.

And we are gonna need it because
2 days after we get home
we will head to Salt Lake to begin treatments.

It goes a little something like this:
They admit him in the ICU and insert a picc line.
And then they start administering the first dose of IL-2.

It's basically like giving him the superflu.
He will have pretty bad convulsions, sweats,
fever, throw-up, diarrhea, and everything that comes
along with the flu.
But times 10.

They do a dose, and monitor him the whole time
and check his stats after each dose.
If his body is up for it,
they do another...and another...and another.
Ideally they will get up to 10, but some people quit
sooner. They just have to watch your body very closely.

They did make sure to let us know that
they've never had anyone at their hospital die
while administering it...
Comforting-huh.

After 5 days in the ICU he will come home
and recover for about a week,
and then go back and do it all over again.

After the second time he gets 6 weeks off
and then they do a scan to see if the drug is
having any effect. (Meaning shrinkage, or just stability).

If it is, we do it again.
And it's the same process.
We can do it up to 4 times.
And pray hard that Trav is one of
the few who has complete response.

Can you imagine?

How are we feeling you wonder?
Scared of what's to come.
A little sad that our way of life is changing a bit.
Sad that Torisel has quit working.
There's only so many options for us,
and now one of them is done.
Worried about work.
Worried about money.
Worried about our kids.
I'm worried about Travis.
About how he's gonna feel.
How I'm gonna be able to juggle him, the kids
and everything that comes along with it.

Oddly enough though,
With that huge list above,
I feel a little excited that maybe there is
a shot that something could help.
Feeling grateful that we have such
an amazing cancer institute so close
that is able to do the procedure
(there are only 35 in the US that can).
So grateful to have specialists looking
over his case, and qualified to do this with us.
We are gonna be praying hard around
these parts...
feel free to join in.

If you are still reading this,
you deserve a medal for making it
to the end of this ultra-long post.

Wish us luck!

Update

2012-01-27T22:50:00.000-08:00

Trav went in Tuesday to meet with a
pain specialist.
The Dr. was able to give him a shot and burn the
nerves that were causing all the pain.

So far it seems to have helped quite a lot.
He is able to move around a lot more and
it's not near as sensitive.
He still hurts in the morning an isn't sleeping
as well as he would like,
but I think will improve.

It's nice to see him laugh without
wanting to cry out in pain again!

We meet with a Dr. at Huntsman
in February so we are taking it easy
until then and enjoying what might be our
last few weeks of normalcy for a while.

We are both still very nervous
for what's to come,
but also so grateful that we have options.

Options are good.

I'm hoping we have nothing to
report till we meet with him.
Thanks again to everyone.
For everything.

One Wish Cache Valley

2012-01-16T20:39:00.000-08:00

This past week we were given
a lovely gift
from
One Wish Cache Valley.

Read about it here.
It was such fun!

And link to their website here.

New Blood

2012-01-14T21:13:00.000-08:00

Trav went in for his infusion yesterday
and got a few bags of
new, healthy blood.

It is absolutely amazing to watch
his color brighten
as the blood drips into his veins.

I know, that sounds pretty gross,
but really, it's so amazing to
see his color look
SO
healthy again.

I like new blood.
Trav does too.
He says he feels like he has
a little more energy.

That being said he still doesn't have enough.
He tires very easily right now
and his appetite isn't 100% just yet.
His rib pain is still there, but
it's not nearly as acute as it was before.
Hopefully Tuesday the pain specialist
will be able to straighten him out
so he can get some sleep at night.

We both feel like if he starts to sleep,
he will feel about a million times better.

Thank you all so much for your concern,
texts, e-mails, phone calls, delicious dinners,
and mostly your prayers.

We feel really very blessed and lucky
to have such great friends.

I am really hoping he will get some energy back
this week and be able to go back to work.
It's good for him to be there with his work friends,
and be busy.
And routine would feel so nice
compared to this awful week of
watching t.v. and trying to find a little normalcy.

Mostly we are ready to know exactly what the next
year of our life will look like
and ready to ask the new Dr. all the questions brewing
in our minds.

We have no idea what the timeline is like
for IL-2. No idea how he will feel when he is
there getting treatment, how he will feel afterwards.
How much it all costs, how often it is administered...
you get the drift, right?

Anyhow, just wanted to let everyone know
that Trav is doing better today then before,
and we both feel like he will continue to improve.
Thanks again to all for everything!

I will update again Tuesday when we come up
with a plan to battle this pain.

Results

2012-01-12T15:54:00.000-08:00

We were able to meet with Trav's
Doctor today and figure a few things out.

The scan came back showing some growth
in his rib area, and also in the mets to his lungs.
It's minimal, but still growth.

The Doctor is concerned that maybe our time with
our current drug is running out.
And we knew that would happen eventually.
For most people 4 years on one drug is unheard of.

But man, we love that drug.
It's left us able to live a very normal life,
and has worked for SO long in terms of RCC,
and more importantly, it's tolerable.

We have options.
There a a few drugs we can choose from,
but the Dr. is leaning towards one that we've read
a bit about.
IL2.

I've done research about it before
and it terrifies me.
From what little I know,
he will have this done at the U
with a Dr. that our Dr. speaks highly of.
He will have to be in the ICU for a solid week
while they inject the medicine
because it is so hard on your heart.
Which is scary.
Very.

He would have to do the treatment
more then once.

But, younger people seem to do well
with this drug and if it works,
the long term effects are well worth it for us.
Sadly, the Dr. used 5 years as long term-
and it's just not long enough.

There are a very few people who have quite
a good response to this drug,
and have no evidence of disease.
It's very rare, but if we end up doing this
medicine, that's what I'm shooting for.

The Dr. did say that we can continue with the
drug he is currently taking for the next 2 months
while we think about his and see what his scan looks like.

In my dream world his current drug would start to
work well again and his next scan would look good
so we could continue on, but I think I need to face the
odds that that option is unlikely.

So we will go 2 months.
And fast and pray really hard
that his next scan will look good.

And if it doesn't then we will face that when we get there.

In the meantime,
he has to get a blood transfusion tomorrow
because his iron is so low.
That will help him feel a little better.

And the Dr. was going to talk to an pain specialist
about giving T and injection on his rib so the pain
will subside.

I'll keep you all posted.
Thanks again.
We sure appreciate you all.

{A little Update}

2012-01-10T13:51:00.000-08:00

Ugh.
The past week has been
long.
And kinda awful.

Trav's pain got pretty unbearable
for a few days
leaving us,
and him especially,
living in a fog.

He hasn't been back to work
since last week
and we have watched
a really gross
amount of TV.

He's having the same rib
pain, night sweats-giving me
a great opportunity to make
male menopause jokes,
and has absolutely NO
appetite.

I'm not gonna lie.
It's been an awfully hard week.

I'm very confused as to why
the pain just all of the sudden
started, and just plain sick of it!

Our hope was that it would go
away this week.
And while the pain has
lessened a bit,
he still feels very tight.
It makes it very hard for him
to sleep and he doesn't move
around a whole lot.

Tomorrow he is going to
get a CT scan so we can see
where the problem lies.

I'm praying that the cancer
hasn't spread, and this is just
another fluke in the story of Trav's cancer.
He's had plenty!

We've been in awe of
how well taken care of we have been.
Like seriously people,
stop feeding us so much!
Your gonna have to roll me around soon!

We are both sooo grateful!
It seems that with everyone taking
such good care of us we are able
to focus on making the girls
lives 'normal'.

Thank you to all.
Really, lots.

I'll keep you all posted on results.
Hoping to have them Thursday.

Pain

2012-01-03T12:26:00.000-08:00

The past month has been
really hard on Trav.
He's been in a lot of pain.
A lot.
It started in his back, pain he is sure
is stemming from the kidney.
Pretty much each night he is
MISERABLE.

He had an ultrasound a few
weeks ago to see if anything has changed
because the pain is so new, and so different then
what he has had previously,
but the ultrasound showed nothing new.
Which is good.
And bad.
Because it doesn't help us fix the problem.

That pain has started subsiding a little bit,
but now the rib pain is back.
And he is miserable again.
Really, really miserable.

I can't say how hard it is to watch him feel
so terrible.
And I wish so much that he could just have a break.
My heart hurts for him.

And I wish so much he could just
have one day where he felt normal again.
I do love that husband of mine
and each time he goes through
something like this I am in awe
of how he continues to work so hard,
be such a great, fun dad,
and such a fabulous husband.

I got so lucky.

Please pray for him.
He really deserves a day
where he is pain free!

Love to all
and hoping your Holidays were fabulous!

{4 Years}

2011-12-11T18:17:00.001-08:00

Today marks 4 years since we learned
that T's cancer came back.

4 years!
Holy.
Moly.

I'm always so grateful this time
of year that we are able to reflect
on how we've made it through the past 4 years.

When we learned that it was back,
we also learned some pretty ugly
statistics that made us wonder if
4 years was a dream.

And here Trav is,
still fighting weekly.
I'm pretty thankful for him.
He never complains,
even though he really never feels well.
And he continues to support our family
and be a fantastic hubs and father.
I love him.

We are so grateful for our
family, friends, neighbors, ward members,
and random strangers who are always here
to support us.

We are ready for 4 more!
Leave T some love today and tell him how stellar he is.

Side Effects

2011-11-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

I realized when I posted last that I have
failed to write about a few things
that Trav has been experiencing.

This post is mostly for our memory sake,
and for others with RCC who may
be using the same drug as T.

I wont feel bad if you don't read it...
in fact, I wont even know.
:)

For a while T was experiencing his hands and feet
falling asleep and being really numb.
Yet another fun side effect of the drug...
So he has now added yet another medicine
to his regiment and it has seemed to help.

His pillbox keeps getting fuller.

Some other side effects that have worsened over
the past few months are his brittle, brittle nails.
He gets really bad ingrown toe nails and his fingernails
keep breaking. They are just so thin.
We decided to get some nail strengthener
and let the ladies apply it when needed.

They really love this side effect because it
results in them painting Daddy's nails...
they just wish it was pink polish.
So if you see a sheen on his nails, that's why.

His hair has started growing in about 100
different directions. I include this mostly so
you all know that his hair stylist (um, that's me),
really doesn't suck. His hair just is doing it's own thing.

He could do without the breakouts the meds cause.
I think they are just keeping him young....

His Iron levels have been really low.
They check them every week and have said
they may need to do an injection of some sort to pull
it back up, but it somehow rises just enough
by the next week that they haven't had to do it yet.
And then it falls...
and rises..
and falls.
We are hoping it stays up for good now.

Other then that he is just dealing with
the normal.
Chest pains, exhaustion,
and he still gets his back pains.

Such a good man, that Travis,
he never complains.

I'm hoping nothing blog worthy comes
up till the next scan,
after the Holidays.

So...Happy Holidays to you all!

Results

2011-10-27T17:13:00.000-07:00

Another day of
nail biting,
binge eating,
dt. coke drinking,
snappy mothering..
over.

The scan went well.
Nothing has changed.
Trav said to the Dr.
"Looks great then!"
And the Dr. (in jest) replied
"If it looked great, you wouldn't be here."
We love that Dr. of ours, and Trav's quite
happy he got him to crack such a funny joke.

And now we can move into the
Holiday season without even
thinking about cancer.

We love to live in blissful denial!

I keep thinking that we shouldn't get
so worked up each and every time,
but it's awful.
Every time.

And I've been wondering if anyone actually
reads this old blog,
but today I had SO many of you
send e-mails and texts.
I just wanted to express our gratitude,
once again.

We have very, very dear friends.
See ya in January.

Thursday.

2011-10-23T21:23:00.000-07:00

It's scan time again.
Thursday.

We are feeling the usual nerves.
It's a big one.
If you remember,
last time we had some
growth in one of the
tumors in the kidney...
so we really need that to be
stable,
or were gonna have to
change our treatment
plan.

As always, we can't express
our gratitude in how much we
appreciate your prayers,
and everything you all do for us!

I'll keep you posted on Thursday!

Also, I keep getting random e-mails from people
wanting me to let them guest post on this blog and
people wanting me to contact them about this blog.
I really only use this blog so people can keep up on T.
I'm sorry for not responding, but it's really only
so people can keep up on my man. ;)

{150}

2011-08-21T23:48:00.000-07:00

Trav just completed his 150th treatment Thursday...
we didn't throw a party or anything.
That would have been weird.

But I do think it's pretty remarkable.
I'd wager that there aren't many RCC patients who have been on this drug for so long.
In fact, we are thinking of contacting the company who makes it and seeing if they want to
buy our story...

(I kid. Unless there is a rep for Torisel reading this...and then we are open for negotiation).

Just thought I'd let you all know Trav's doing fine.
Just gearing up for 151 this week...lucky guy.

Crossing our fingers for a good scan in October.
I'm thinking I wont be updating till then. ;)

Results

2011-07-21T21:01:00.001-07:00

I like scans on Thursdays.
Sure, it makes for an incredible tiring day for T
because he has to drink barium at 11 pm, 4 am, 5 am, and 6 am and be at the scan by 7 am.
And then he gets his poison injected at 3 pm, making him extra tired....
but at least we don't have to wait 3 days for results.

Here they are.
His rib, lungs, and liver are fairly stable.
His rib tumors have grown again, but just slightly.

The Doctor wants to really keep his eye on those tumors, but feels like it's best to stay on the
current treatment for the next 3 months and we will scan again.

We are crossing fingers for no more tumor growth there so we can continue the path we are on.

As usual, we are overwhelmed by the kindness shown to us on hard days like this.
I had 2 dinners brought to me.
2.
And I may or may not have ate them both.

And the texts, e-mails, and phone calls are so appreciated.
And the diet cokes.

We have great friends.
Thank you!!

Bleck. It's scan time again.

2011-07-16T20:48:00.000-07:00

Yep, it's scan time again. I've made it almost 4 months without even looking at this blog. (Thanks for those of you who have commented since my last post, I just saw them and sure appreciate people for checking in on us!)

The scan is set for Thursday, and as usual the freaking out/grumpiness that accompany some of us (um, me), have already set in. We sure appreciate all the fasting, praying and well wishing you want to do for us. Really, we appreciate it more then you know.

Things have been fairly normal for us lately, but there are a few things I'm a bit worried about. For the past 3 weeks Trav's legs have been swelling. (He now understands the term 'cankles' and can sympathize with how I felt pregnant). And while it was kinda funny to make jokes about it for a while, it is worrisome. I'm not sure why it has been happening, but it seems like they are finally getting it under control. Let's pray that it doesn't end up being anything major.

And his chest pain has been really bad. Like, wake up in the middle of the night in pain bad. It seems like he goes through spurts where this happens, so I'm really hoping it's just normal...but we always worry.

If your wondering what the worst part of dealing with cancer for us is, I would say uncertainty. If Trav gets a bad chest cold, we worry that it might be something to do with cancer. If he has a funny pain in his back, we worry. If he pulls a muscle, we worry. We never know if it's cancer attacking, or just normal pains everyone gets. We are never certain that his medicine is working, because if we are honest with ourselves, we know that we've had an amazing run with this medication so far, and our luck could run out at any time. It would be so nice to plan ahead in our lives with certainty that things will go smoothly. I miss not worrying about every. single. thing.

That being said, we have been so blessed to have had so much go our way, and know that we are lucky in comparison to some. We are so thankful for all the time we have been given. But we are greedy! We want more! So yeah, go ahead and send us some good vibes.

I will update as soon as we hear. Trav has a treatment Thursday afternoon, so maybe the Doctor will be able to get results by the time he goes in. Wouldn't that be nice?

Love to all.

Results

2011-03-24T19:30:00.000-07:00

I don't have much time tonight, so I'll make it quick.

The results were decent.

Shrinkage!!! in the rib!!
A small amount of growth in the tumors in his kidney (yes, tumor(s). I always thought there was only 1, but there are 2. Imagine how dumb I felt when I freaked out after seeing the #2 and hearing Trav tell me that they've always been there...I'm a moron.)
The lesion on the liver is showing up again, but I'm pretty sure it's always been there and was just looked over last time.
And the lungs are stable.

Kidney function is good.

We feel very loved. I received a million inquiring phone calls/e-mails/and texts over the past few days.

We are blessed.
We are lucky.
And we are gonna enjoy the next 3 months-till the next scan reminds us how sucky this stuff is.

Love to all.

Scan Time.

2011-03-17T19:59:00.000-07:00

In the last post I mentioned that T's kidney function wasn't as good as the Dr. would have liked and that they were going to try and lessen his dose of meds to see what would happen.

Well when they lessened his dose his function started doing better, and is now back to where it should be, so they have upped his meds and will continue to watch it closely and make sure his kidney keeps doing it's job well.

We are really relieved that his function improved and now just pray it will continue to do well so we wont have to switch his medication. We are so thankful for a drug that has worked for us with minimal side effects, and our other options just don't sound too appealing. :)

Tuesday he will have another scan. It's been a while and being that he had a few weeks of a smaller dose of medicine, we are a little nervous....so if you wanna say a prayer or two...we will sure appreciate it!

Thanks again to everyone who reads this blog and offers kind thoughts on our behalf. We are so grateful for the army of people who take such great care of us!

Those [insert favorite swear word here] Kidneys.

2011-02-03T20:34:00.001-08:00

It seems with T's cancer, whenever we get back to 'normal' and comfortable, things smack us in the face again.

This time, it's back where it all began.

The kidney.

Each week when T goes in for a treatment he gets his blood drawn to check his kidney function (keep in mind he only has 1 kidney left, so we like it to work...)

The past 2 weeks, it hasn't been great.
Today at treatment 127, the Dr. decided he needed to lower his normal dose of poison for the next few weeks to see if it brings his kidney function back up. His concern is that our wonder drug is doing the damage to his kidney function.

Not really great news.

And I'm not sure what to pray for.

Here is the dilemma in a nutshell:

If it is the drug is doing the damage, then he will obviously have to try something new. New side effects. New worries that it may not work. New game plan. We are kinda used to our game plan now, and in our dreamland would really like to stick with it for...ever. In the sad world of RCC there aren't a whole lot of options, so the longer we can stick with one drug, the better. Way better.

But, if it isn't the drug doing the damage, then that means for some reason, his kidney just isn't doing it's job, and that's no bueno.

You see the problem, right?

Tonight we are once again reminded of how awful this beast is, and how much we really loathe it. You hate it too, yes?

So if your wondering what to pray for, join the club. We aren't really sure. But asking for good kidney function and a wonder drug to keep working is a start, and we can hope the big guy upstairs gets our concerns.

Thanks for checking in, we always appreciate your support.

3 years

2010-12-10T16:09:00.001-08:00

3 years ago tomorrow, I wrote this post on our family blog.

3 years! And as of Thursday 118 treatments! My goodness. Time flies when your having fun...haha!

I spent a good while reading through the posts that Christmas and was overwhelmed with emotion. I read through very wet and blurry eyes and have been thinking so much about all that has happened since.

I will never forget that Christmas. I will never forget sitting in the Doctors office and the look on his face as he told us Trav's results. I will never forget how completely and utterly terrified I felt then. I wont soon forget driving Trav home from his first treatment in a complete blizzard. I wont forget waiting...and wondering what kind of reaction he would have to the poison in his body. I'd like to forget the empty feeling I had when I really had time to sit down and think about what we were facing, but still hanging on to those memories too. I wont forget the awful prognosis we received, and thinking "could this be our last family Christmas?"

I also will never forget how taken care of we were that year. Daily we would come home to gifts of kindness on our front door from faceless friends. We were so blessed. (We are still, I know). I wont forget the flowers, gifts for my kids, and cookies (my thighs still haven't forgot those cookies!). I wont forget the words that so many people spoke to us that pulled us out of our funk. I wont forget the strangers who let me know they too, were praying for our family. I wont ever forget how much we learned to lean on one another, and so many of you that Christmas.

That Christmas 3 years ago, was the most awful and most beautiful Christmas to date. And as our 3 year cancerversary (I made that word up..you like?) comes near, I can't help but feel so very thankful for all the time our family has been given.

3 years! 3 Christmases! And gosh darn it, I'm counting on more then that.

My favorite thing about looking back at our life then, is comparing it to now. We have sure learned to adapt! Sometimes it's so easy for even us to forget how sick T is. What a blessing! We have been able to really enjoy the past 3 years. Sure, we would like to take Thursday nights out of the week completely...and when T is really in pain, we are reminded again, and yes those pesky scans come along and give us a swift reminder...but still, life is good!

I just wanted to remind myself how blessed our little family has been and to thank all of you who are still here, and who have been here all along. We are so so so thankful. It's such a beautiful time for us to be reminded of what's important.

I can't imagine anything noteworthy coming up on the old cancer blog before Christmas, so I'm wishing you all a Very Merry one!

Just a little update.

2010-11-17T18:46:00.001-08:00

I'm sorry to have neglected this blog since my last post, but I've lacked the energy, desire, and the time. Each time I take a little break from this blog, I get many worried e-mails and phone calls. I'm sorry to make you all worry, but remember: No news is good news. It's when I post a lot that you should worry. ;)

In the last post I mentioned Trav was experiencing some pretty severe pain, and the Doctor couldn't really understand why because the scan results looked normal. (I use the term normal loosely, I should say normal for T.)

For a few weeks T was on some pretty good pain meds that really helped with the pain, but obviously he doesn't want to need them all the time, so he is done taking them now and the pain has subsided. I wouldn't say he feels great, but he feels much better and for that we are both very grateful. He's only had a few really hard nights since he's stopped taking the meds, and I'm hoping they will lessen with time.

I'd say his biggest complaint right now is the chest pain, and night sweats. He had them first when he was diagnosed the first time, and for some reason they are back.

I kinda like telling him he's going through menopause but he doesn't think I'm nearly as funny as I think I am.....weird.

In my last post I wrote that hospice was brought in for Thomas Goodwin, and on Veterans day, he passed away. Take a moment and go here to read his beautiful obituary. I realize more and more how lucky we are that things have gone so well for Trav. We have been blessed beyond measure for how long his treatments have worked. I only wish The Goodwin's could have been as lucky. They are good people and I hope that Debbie can find some comfort in the hard months and years to come.

Thanks for always checking in. Sure appreciate you all!

Results.

2010-11-02T19:56:00.000-07:00

I feel terrible that I have yet to update the blog with the results from the scan. And I can tell I've got some of you worried by the e-mails/texts you've been sending.

But never fear, I've just been extremely busy today and have barely had time to respond to anything.

The scan looked good.
The rib mets even went and shrunk a teensy tiny bit.
But that darn kidney tumor went and grew a teensy tiny bit...
so I guess we're even.

The Dr. was pleased with the results, and happy that the fluid seems to be staying away. There is still a bit in there, but nothing new. And we are happy with the news that things are stable and he can keep on taking his current drug, but also a little perplexed as to why he has been in soooo much pain.

He's missing sleep.
And breathing without aching.
And sneezing without wanting to cry.

The Dr. is going to help us try some new meds to help T manage his pain. Wish him luck!

We both can't express our gratitude for the many calls/texts/e-mails/and cookies from you all every time we go through this. I'm sure it gets old taking such good care of us. Just know it doesn't go unappreciated and we do realize how blessed we are to have you.

After writing this post I clicked a link to a dear cyberfriend, who's husband is also battling RCC. They have had a really rough couple of months and could use some prayers as they have decided it's time for hospice to come in. Send a prayer or 2 to Tom and Debbie Goodwin. I know I will.

I hate stupid cancer.

Back at it.

2010-10-28T18:00:00.000-07:00

Ugh.

I loathe logging into this blog, and much prefer ignoring it (and the cancer) completely. We've had a very nice break from weekly treatments, (Trav got 2 weeks off!), weekly x-ray's, and the Doctors office in general.

If you live under a rock and don't already know, we were able to take an amazing trip to Spain where T served his mission, and seriously didn't think about cancer once the whole time we were gone. (Click here for pics of the trip.)

It did wonders for both my soul, and Trav's.

But now we are back in the real world, and all the crap that comes along with it.

Travis did really well on our trip, he had lots of energy, and felt pretty good. But since we've been home things haven't gone as well.

He is in a lot of pain in his rib, and his chest.
Pain to the point of waking up at 3 a.m. because it hurts so bad.
He hasn't really been able to sleep a full night since we've been back, and that is no bueno. (A little Spanish for ya....)

It's hard to get back to normal and have to face it all again. I swear after 3 years of this I'd should be used to it, but I just can't get over how hard it is to watch my husband be in pain.

It hurts my heart.

Anyhow, today he went in for a treatment and talked to the Dr. about his pain. He will have another fun scan on Monday so they can see why he is in so much pain, and so they can figure out how to treat it.

I'm praying, really hard, that they wont find anything new. The chest pain worries me a bit, because his chest usually only hurts on treatment days. But you never know, maybe it's the cold weather, or just overexertion from our trip.

Either way, we will know on Monday. And I'm asking again for prayers sent his way.

He's kind of awesome, so it really is worth your time.
I'll keep you posted.

Sweet releif.

2010-09-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

Trav went in yesterday for his chest x-ray.
Wanna know what they found?

No fluid.

NONE.

He said even the Dr. looked a little shocked.

I have a new found testimony of prayers, and fasting.

Now, don't feel bad if I completely ignore you till our next scan. I'm looking forward to a cancer blogging break.

(BTW, the next scan will be toward the end of October.)

Love to all.

Thursday Night Therepy

2010-09-18T14:36:00.000-07:00

I owe a little apology to those of you wondering how Trav's x-ray went on Thursday. He went in before his treatment, and after waiting for an hour and a half, couldn't wait any longer because he had to go get his weekly dose of poison.

He will get it this week some time, and I will keep you posted.

Till then, enjoy this picture of Sienna and Dad snuggling the Thursday night blues away. Yes, they are both out cold, and yes, it's only 7:15 p.m.

I tell you what, that little lady is good for his soul.

I don't wanna brag, but...

2010-09-02T16:18:00.000-07:00

My man has even less pleural fluid then he did 2 weeks ago.

He had an x-ray today to prove it.
I feel happy inside.
If he didn't just come home looking like death (because he just walked in from his treatment), I might jump for joy, or attempt a cartwheel.

Thanks for all your prayers, it seems they did the trick.

New Blood.

2010-08-28T21:14:00.001-07:00

Travis went in yesterday to get his shot and a blood transfusion.
Another day of sitting in the room with people much older then him, and us wondering 'how did we get here?'
And another day for poor T to spend just sitting in the hospital.
2 hours on Thursday.
5.5 hours on Friday.

He's a lucky, lucky man. ;)

Things went well though, and I think his coloring is much improved.
And he went golfing today and felt like a little bit of his power was back, and that my friends,
is very good news.

The anemia is caused by his medicine, not really by lack of something in his diet. The hope is that now he will be boosted up to his normal self, and stay that way. We don't really want him to have to get more transfusions if we can help it.

Thursday he will go in for another x-ray to see if that darned fluid is back, so I will let you all know as things progress.

Thanks for checking in.
It's always appreciated!

Another Thursday Report.

2010-08-26T17:47:00.000-07:00

For the love.

I'm sick of this blog.
I mean, I love you all,
but my goal is to not have to write on this blog, for like, a week.
I wont miss it.

Is that too much to ask?

Trav went in for his treatment today, and his blood work looks worse.
He's pretty anemic.
I guess for the past 4 weeks his blood work has looked progressively worse.

The Dr. actually asked if he was feeling really tired, and when Trav said he was doing OK the Doc told him he is "tougher then he thought."

So now Trav is feeling a little bit like he's Superman. I mean, to hear that he is tough from a Doctor is good stuff.

Tomorrow he has to go in and get a blood transfusion and a shot of procrit. They are hoping to get him back to his 'just below normal' self.

He gets to spend 4 hours at the hospital.
Don't be jealous.

We both are really hoping this will help him get some energy back.
And honestly, we are both feeling a little sick of the weekly stress that keeps on coming.
Feeling a little knocked down and just hoping that next week things look a little better.

I want to add that for all the crap I give him, I think he's Superman too. To know that he must be just exhausted each day, and to still work full time, take care of the kids and me, and have such a good attitude about it all makes me love him even more.

He's a good man. And he could use your prayers, and good vibes.
Thanks in advance!

A Little Update:

2010-08-20T11:57:00.001-07:00

I'm sick of updating this blog, and longing for the days when we were just hanging out, pretending T wasn't sick, and getting decent scans.

Isn't it just so sad, and slightly pathetic when you long for they days of just plain old stage 4 cancer?

Here's the latest.
Trav went in for his x-ray yesterday, and today we learned that there is no new fluid in his pluera.
Yeah!

But because Trav is a drama queen who is really enjoying all this attention, he had to go and throw another question mark into the mix, and I'm unsure if we should be worried, or not.

He is really anemic.
Which I believe is normal for most cancer patients, but not normal for T.
Usually he is slightly, but right now it sounds pretty bad.

Today they are running some blood work and I think they are hoping to figure out why.
I'm hoping it's just a fluke, and they can give him a shot, and it will be no biggie.

We will see I guess.
I'm hoping the Dr. will call today, but he may not till tomorrow. I will update as soon as I know anything.

He will have another x-ray on his chest in 2 weeks to check his pleura again.

FLUID BE GONE.
And tonight I will be feeding him steak. ;)

Thanks for everything!

Results.

2010-08-12T15:21:00.001-07:00

I can honestly say that the last 2 days have been the longest 2 days of my life.
Ever.

And can happily tell you that no cancer cells were found in the fluid.
Deep sigh of relief.

Now we wait, and see if it comes back.
Trav will go in next week and check the fluid via chest x-ray.

Our hope is that there wont be any, and it wont come back.
If it does, then he will have a 'procedure' done to hopefully rid him for good.

So again, cross any crossable body parts in the hopes that the darn fluid is gone. for. good.

I also want to say thank you to the many people who have texted, prayed, fasted, called, visited, and e-mailed. It's been humbling and overwhelming. And we have felt so thankful. Last night we had a friend, who had no idea what was going on, feel inspired to come check on the Kidman family. It's a testimony builder for us to have so many of you on our side.

Amazing.
You all are amazing.

I also feel a little embarrassed. It seems we've been really lucky whenever we hit these scary moments, we end up getting fairly decent news. But I worry that many of you are wondering why we freak out, so often. The truth is that we have just been really lucky. The statistics for Trav's cancer, and his stage of cancer, are really-really ugly. The fact that things have gone so well for so long is a miracle. The fact that things haven't progressed or changed is a miracle. We are so thankful for that. But we are also very aware that we need to be prepared for the worst case, because in most cases, it happens sooner rather then later. So we aren't just being dramatic, (I wish we were). It is scary, and awful, and crappy all at the same time. I know that most of you already know that, but just want you to know that all your prayers are for a reason. We have needed them, and appreciated them, and will continue to do so.

We are very blessed, and so thankful to you all.

And I hope this makes sense because I haven't slept in 2 days.
And I'm tired.

Goodnight. ;)

Fast.

2010-08-10T21:56:00.000-07:00

Friends,
Tonight while researching about the surgery Trav may have to face, we also learned how scary pleural effusion is if it has metastasized.

We knew it was scary, but the prognosis is much more then scary.
Like a life expectancy of 6 months scary.

Tomorrow our family, and friends are fasting. If you'd like to join us, we would appreciate it.
We are really praying for good news on Thursday!

Roller Coaster.

2010-08-10T18:37:00.000-07:00

The Dr. called today to give us a little update. Our conversation felt a little bit like our life feels right now. Up, down, up, down, up...down.

UP: The pathologist hasn't been able to find any cancer cells.
DOWN: Yet. He is running even more tests. We should know more on Thursday.
UP: The were able to get most of the fluid out, and only a very small amount remains.
DOWN: They are pretty positive that even though they haven't found any cancer cells yet, it is %100 happening because of the cancer, and not because of the radiation. We were really hoping that it was just a fluke side effect of the radiation.
UP: It seems the Dr. was a bit concerned that the fluid was going to change some of the mets to his lungs, but his chest x-ray looks the same.
DOWN: He will now have to get chest x-rays every 2 weeks to see if the fluid is returning.
DOWN: If the fluid comes back he will have to have surgery.
DOWN: Painful surgery.
DOWN: Checking online it seems that best case he will have to stay in the hospital for 4 days.
DOWN: Worst case? Up to 2 weeks.
UP: He may not have to have surgery. If that darn fluid stays away.
UP: You are all praying it will stay away. And crossing toes and fingers. Do it. Now. :)
DOWN: When I asked the Dr. how concerned we should be, he admitted to be concerned himself. I do not like it when the Dr. worries. Like, not at all.

Do you notice more DOWNS then UPS? Me too. I really am praying that Thursday changes all that.

We feel a little deflated tonight. And worried. And bummed.
Can I tell you how much we hate cancer?
It's a lot, like an unmentionable amount.

I feel bad that T is in pain already, and may have to deal with a painful surgery. I feel bad that he has to go through it all. I feel a little bit bad for myself that I can't do anything to help him, and I don't know how to change it. I feel a little selfish because I am pouting about things that may not happen (like that trip we want to book, right now). I feel a little smacked around. Mostly I just miss worrying about things like when we are gonna find time to mow the lawn, what my hair looks like, and what shoes go with what shirt. I miss the small stuff feeling like big stuff.

(Does that make any sense?)

Anyhow, here is a quick video that will make you smile after my whiny post. Your gonna find yourself singing it all night long.

Thanks again for checking in!

'

Thoracentesis

2010-08-06T22:11:00.000-07:00

This afternoon Travis went in for his thoracentesis.
And we are so glad it is done.
I'm not gonna lie, it was scary.
And really, really gross.

The first doctor came in and did an ultrasound to see how big the 'pockets of fluid' were. Then he proceeded to tell us the possible side effects of the procedure.
Collapsed lungs.
Punctured lungs.
Infection.
Lots of blood.

Then you sign the paper giving them your ok.

Then the Dr. who actually does the procedure comes in, and repeats possible complications, and does a great job of terrifying you.

I don't think I've ever been so nervous. Seriously, I was nauseously nervous. And have decided I am pretty much a pessimist and just know that the worst case will happen when it comes to T's luck.

But things went really well. They were able to pull almost a sickly 1/2 liter of fluid out of him, and there weren't any complications.

His back is pretty sore now, but i think that will go away quickly, and we are hoping that removing that fluid will help ease a little bit of the pain in his rib. We are wondering if that was putting added pressure there, and hopefully it will help!

They have sent the fluid to the pathologist who will now determine whether the fluid is cancerous, or caused from something else.

We obviously are praying that it's not more cancer. (You are too, right?) And we are crossing our fingers that the radiation he had in May has somehow just caused this fluid to build up. Either way, the pathologist should be able to tell why it's there, what it is, and where it is coming from.

So again, we wait. And again, we ask for your prayers.
Do you get sick of us asking you for favors?
We hope you all know how thankful we are that we have friends we are able to ask, and ask, and ask.

We love ya.

The skinny.

2010-08-05T18:49:00.000-07:00

(That massive stack of papers on the Dr.'s desk is Trav's enormous file).

My goodness it's been a long day. It started off with a phone call that Sienna, who slept at Grandmas with all of her cousins, was throwing up. So I guess when your day starts like that, it can only go up, right?

Anywhoo, we met with the Dr. this afternoon and he shed some light on whats going on inside my mans body.

The doctor said he actually didn't have any growth on the spot on his rib, but the muscles around the rib are really swollen, (which may have been why we read it wrong?) He also said some of the cells around that area are dead, which is actually good news showing us that the radiation at least did something.

He was pleased that his liver is clean. His lung mets are the same, and his remaining kidney is stable, but he also doesn't really like the fluid in his lungs.

Tomorrow he will go in for a thorancentisis, which is basically them sticking a needle in his chest and draining the fluid. They will send it to a pathologist to see exactly what it is, and we will go from there. Darn fluid.

Travis has been doing his treatments a little off protocol. Normally with his drug it is a treatment every single week. But we have kind of pushed for 3 weeks on and 1 week off, mostly because doing this every week for almost 3 years was a lot for T to take. The longer he goes with each treatment the worse he feels, so a week off is like a little slice of heaven. His cankers clear up, and he finds a little energy. Well, because of the pleural effusion, the Dr. has decided he would like Travis to go for 8 straight weeks on, and then get another scan and see whats going on. If the fluid is back, or there are any other changes in his hot spots, we will have to try another treatment option.

It's my opinion that the drug we are using has worked for him thus far, and I'd really like for him to be able to continue. We know the side effects, and it has managed to keep him stable for quite a long time (for kidney cancer, at least).

Trying something new frankly, terrifies me. I remember the wait for his first scan after he started using Torisel (the drug he is using now), and would really not like to have that kind of anxiety again! :) The plus side to a new treatment is that some are given in pill form, which would be awesome for T. No more weekly hour(s) long session at the cancer center would be good for his moral.

So to sum up: (I'm very long winded tonight, yes?) Tomorrow he will get rid of the fluid. It should go smoothly, and not be too scary. That being said we are both a little scared. Cause even thought it should go smoothly, they are sticking a needle in his chest.... You are planning on praying for us, aren't you? ;) Then treatments for 8 weeks, and another scan to see how things look. Let's hope for no growth and no fluid.

Today I was very humbled and grateful for the many phone calls and texts and messages I received. We can't express our thanks enough. It calms our fears to have so many people who care and who put up with us and our roller coaster lifestyle.

I'm going to spend tonight wishing this nightmare called cancer away, but will wake up ready to face it all again, and am glad that you all face it with us.

I'll post tomorrow about how the fluid removal went (I'm calling it fluid removal because I can't remember the technical term, awesome).

Thanks all.

Results read by the Kidmans

2010-08-04T20:57:00.000-07:00

Well, Travis picked up his results today, so we still haven't got the official word, but here is what we know.

Lungs-stable.
Liver-clear!
Kidney-1 cm bigger :(
Rib-8 x 5 cm BIGGER?

If your thinking What? He had radiation on his rib, it's supposed to be better!?
Join the club.
We are not happy.
If you remember they did really, really high doses in his rib hoping that it would stop spreading in his rib, and maybe, hopefully get rid of it. And the radiation has made it hurt.
Like a lot.
Like so much that right now he is laying on the couch unable to find a comfy position, and there is moaning and squinting involved.

So a lot of pain, for no results.
Boo.
Freaking Boo.

I'm really, very curious to see what the good doc says tomorrow. My fear is that he will want us to try one of his 3 other options. And with other options comes new side effects, and an even more scary situation.

I do not like.
But again, that's just me speculating. He may just want to keep on rolling with his drug treatment. Who knows?

We will tomorrow, I hope.

And we are aware of how miraculous it is that everything else is staying stable. So we are mad, and thankful all at once.
Get used to it.

Another cause of concern that was found on his scan, (and again, remember we are doing the reading here, so forgive me if tomorrow you hear another story), is that he has a pleural effusion. Which from what we've read is fluid building up between his lungs and rib. Common in lung cancer patients.

I really do not like.
And am more then a little worried, which is the downside to reading a scan without a dr.
He might look at me tomorrow and be all "it's nothing to worry about", and I've been worried. So I guess we will just wait and see.

Still love me friends, if next time you see me I'm in my pj's and have gained 30 lbs.
Mmkay?

Thank you all for continued prayers, and cross your fingers we are worrying for nothing! I really appreciate all the calls and texts from those of you who are waiting as anxiously as we are. It's so nice to have so many of you there for us!

Wednesday

2010-07-30T22:23:00.000-07:00

Hey all,

Just thought I'd let everyone know that it's scan time again.
Wednesday.
It will be interesting to see what the radiation has done to his rib.
Which, is still aching. Darn it.

I'm thinking your prayers have worked so far, so we are asking for them again...
Thanks in advance!

Maladies.

2010-07-01T22:52:00.000-07:00

Here's a little update on Trav's many maladies.
I'm thinking of changing the blog title to travscrappydiseases. You like?

Disease #1.
The cancer.
Trav had a bone scan on Tuesday. It's been almost 3 years since his last one, and he was due. He said when the initial scan was over the tech very wearily told him he needed to take another picture of his rib....and he seemed a little relieved when Trav told him he already knew there is cancer there.

We were happy to report that there was no new cancerous growth on his bones.
Score 1 for T.

His rib pain seems to come and go, which is better then the constant pain he had a few weeks ago, but still not as good as it could be. He's determined to golf next week, and I've told him he can, but if he hurts himself I may kill him. :)

At the end of the month he will get his CT scan. (I know, has it been 3 months already?) We will be able to see what the radiation did, and are really hoping that for all the pain it's been, it's done something. And for those of you who need a little reminder, my birthday is also at the end of the month (write it down, it's a big day) so I figure happy scan results make for 1 happy b-day.

And we all know that my birthday is really what matters most. (I kid.) (A little.)

Disease #2:
Bursitis.

The steroids really helped pretty quickly, and after the first few days the pain started to lessen. I'd say he isn't %100 quite yet, but he is much, much better.

Side note: The nurses at the cancer center (who we adore. a lot) gave Trav quite a bit of crap today for having yet another old person disease. Apparently he was compared to and "old lady with bursitis in her knees" and taunted and teased when they put on "The Andy Griffith show" and assumed it was Trav's type of show, because he is 80 after all.

Heaven bless those nurses.

Disease #3 and #3.5
Arthritis and Slipped disc.

I don't really know which one of these nasty buggers has caused some discomfort as of late, so I will clump them into one.

Once T's shoulder started to feel better, his poor back started aching, and I started wondering who had it out for him. Luckily a few days later it seemed to work itself out, but all these aches have us thinking a bit...

The drug he takes is supposed to prolong life for 10 months. (10 months!) (Hooray for 100 treatments! and what, like 3 years? on that stuff). It hasn't been approved for very long, so in the haze of achy backs, achy ribs, and achy shoulders, we wondered if maybe all of these things are long term affects of his drug treatment. Not that it really matters, or that we will ever really know, but it gave us something to ponder. And now you can ponder it too. Aren't you excited?

A lot has happened in the past month making us even more thankful for what we have. We've watched a (I want to say friend, though we've never met them, so I guess acquaintance is the right word?) pass away after a very hard cancer battle, leaving his lovely wife alone with their 4 beautiful, and young children. When I find myself feeling blue or picked on, I just remember that still, we have a battle to fight, and we should be thankful for it.

A real pain in the....

2010-06-24T21:34:00.001-07:00

Sunday night Trav started getting a pain in his shoulder, like a really bad pain. He couldn't lay on his back, and was pretty uncomfortable. And by Monday night, the pain was awful. I could see a lump on his back, and it just felt like a big muscle knot.

Now, one of those bad things that come along with cancer, is the worry EVERY single time something comes along. Trav gets a bad cough, and we worry. A funny ache, we worry. And a lump on his back, you can bet, we were worried.

He called the doctor on Tuesday and they got him a muscle relaxer hoping that it would work itself out, and he might feel some relief. The nurse told him to take it and see how he does and if he was still in pain by Thursday, to call and they would figure out what was going on.

Well, you know he was in a lot of pain, because he tried those muscle relaxers one night, and knew the pain wasn't going anywhere, and called the Dr. on Wed. instead. (Pansy) (I kid, of course).

Today he went in for an MRI to see what was going on, and just prayed that it wasn't that darn cancer.

And it isn't! :)
But he does have yet another ailment. :(
Bursitis?

From Wikepedia: Bursitis is the inflammation of one of more bursae (small sacs) of synovial fluid in the body. The bursae rests at the points where internal functionaries, such as muscles and tendons, slide across the bone. Healthy bursae create a smooth, almost frictionless gliding surface making normal movement painless. When bursitis occurs, however, movement relying upon the inflamed bursae becomes difficult and painful. Moreover, movement of tendons and muscles over the inflamed bursae aggravates the inflammation perpetuating the problem.

Fun eh?

They called in a prescription for some steroids today, and I'm really hoping that he will start to feel a little better during the week.

Now, I've been asking in my prayers to be able to be with Travis when he is old and gray. I'm starting to wonder if I'm unclear in my requests with the big guy upstairs...
I don't mean I want him to get all the old people diseases right now, I just want him to live for a really long time, long enough that it is age appropriate for him to get arthritis, and bursitis...

Tonight I shall make my request a little clearer. ;)

And if you'd all like to pray that this medicine will help, that would be grand. With his crappy spine, swollen ribs, and now bad shoulder, he could use a break!

Also, Bone scan next week, just to see how things are looking. Let's all pray for his rib to be lookin' good, and for the rest of his bones to be free of the bad stuff.

Thanks for checking in.

{100}

2010-06-17T07:41:00.000-07:00

Today marks Trav's 100th treatment.
I wondered briefly if we should celebrate somehow, but then realized maybe this isn't the type of thing you throw a party for...
At any rate, I'm just glad they are working and grateful at all the time they have given us.

We may have jumped the gun a little in deciding the radiation side effects weren't so bad. The radiation onc. really thought that he would have started experiencing pain a few weeks ago, so we thought we were in the clear.

The other day he complained that it was aching a bit, and as the day went on it got progressively worse. There are 2 really swollen spots that you can visibly see and feel. He's having a hard time even rolling over in bed, and I watch him walk around clutching his side a good chunk of the time, though I don't think he realizes he doing it.

Now, when I ask him how he's doing, he, of course, says "It's not that bad, I'm OK."
He's such a liar.

We both know that if the radiation works, the pain is worth it, but boy it's hard to watch him feel so crappy. I imagine he will get a scan in a few weeks to see whats going on in there. The hardest part about the rib pain is that it will probably be there for a while making for a very long summer.

And to top it off he has 6 or 7 cankers and they are pretty large, and pretty painful. I think once those clear up he will feel a little better.

I know this post is sounding quite negative and it wasn't meant out to be that way. We have so much to be thankful for, and know that soon enough his mouth will clear up and hopefully his pain will be lessened. I'm just hoping that happens sooner rather then later.

Superhero?

2010-06-02T22:24:00.000-07:00

I've been asked about a million times how Travis is holding up, and each time it reminds me I should probably update this blog for those of you who are reading it. (Hello to Trav's cousins who I hear are reading, we appreciate you keeping tabs on him!)

Our radiation onc. made it pretty clear that this would be pretty hard on Travis.
She thought because of the high dosage of the radiation, mixed with him weekly treatments, he would be pretty exhausted. Also, they thought that his rib would be extremely tender. And he would get a pretty red sunburn type rash on the area the radiation was aimed.

We braced ourselves for it.

I gave myself pep talks about how "I will be supermom this week" when Trav comes home too tired to think.

He promised he would take days off work when he was plum tuckered out.

The ladies promised to be quiet when he was tired, and not to tackle him too much.:) Sienna still prays for Daddy's rib each night.

But truth be told, the side effects weren't that bad.
My man is like a superhero.
A Dr. Pepper drinking Superhero.

Oh yes, he had some really bad, really tired days. And his stomach felt a little weird (like I mentioned in the previous post), but it was manageable. And after the first week instead of getting worse (which was expected) he got a little better. His rib has ached a bit more, but not to the point they thought it might get. He even thinks he might give golfing a try here in a few weeks! And the sunburn never really came. (Just a nice mocha tan.:)

Now, this is all according to me. Travis tends to tell everyone that "he is fine" even on his worst days, so he could be lying to me and it is worse then all this, but usually I can tell when he is fibbing, and he really seems to be okay right now.

We are so thankful to have it over with, and so thankful that it has been better then expected. He goes in tomorrow for his 90something treatment.

Do you remember how much we hate Thursdays around here?
They are like a gloomy dark cloud over the week.

Tonight I am just feeling thankful that he is willing to put himself through so much for us.
I married up.
I love my husband.

As always, thanks for checking in!

Almost Done.

2010-05-13T22:31:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow marks Trav's last day of radiation.
Huzzah.
It's been a long week.

When we met with the radiation onc. she said that because the radiation area is close to his stomach, it may feel a little funny, and he may be even more queasy then expected.

He hasn't exactly felt nausea's, but keeps telling me that his stomach feels "weird" and has had absolutely no appetite.

I've pretty much force fed him every night, and mother him with texts like "Did you eat lunch today?" And when he responds "Yes", I take it one step further and say "Something real?".

Poor guy. I think at times he wants to tell me to just back off! But then who would bring him ice cold DP's when he is in need?

And he's completely exhausted.
Like, bags under his eyes exhausted.

He went in for his radiation today at 8, and then went in for his regular treatment at 3, and came home and crashed for a good chunk of the night. When he woke up his chest was aching like crazy and he felt pretty awful.

Thursdays are tough. They are hard on Travis, who just feels awful. He hates not being able to play with the girls, and feels bad when they want a little daddy time and he just does not have it in him. And it's so hard to see him feel as awful as he feels. Someday I pray to find the balance between caring wife, and overbearing wife. Heaven help me!

We've been told that the side effects from his radiation will last for 2-4 weeks, but I'm really, really, really hoping that they go away quickly. It's tough on Trav to do the chemo and the radiation at the same time I think. We are also really hoping that the rib pain doesn't last the whole summer, because I would like to send him golfing!

Thanks so much for all the kind texts, e-mail, and phone calls checking on Travis. He really is doing fine, and as usual has a better attitude then me.

Zapped.

2010-05-10T23:33:00.001-07:00

Travis started his radiation today.
He went in at 7:45 this morning.
He was there for maybe an hour, just getting all set up, re-x-rayed. (I made up that word),
and getting zapped.
They made him hold his hands very still above his head for a good half hour, and that was his biggest complaint.
Turns out, radiation is quick and easy.

When we met with the radiation oncologist last week, she told us that when he starts his therapy he will want to get %100 aloe Vera to rub on his rib, because the radiation will cause a rash.

Today, he asked the guy helping him how often to use it.
The man says "You only have 5 treatments, once a day should be plenty."

They zapped him, then as he's getting ready to go the same guy says,
"Um, that's a really high dose, so you probably should put the aloe on at least 3 times a day."

Awesome. Travis is pumped about his upcoming aching skin.

From what we've heard the majority of the people who get radiation don't experience side effects right away. They usually kick in a week (or 2) later. So we are very curious to see what happens in the next few weeks.

His stomach did feel a bit "funny" today. He just wasn't hungry and opted to eat a banana for lunch. I force fed him dinner, and babied him all night long.

He's in good spirits though, and being his sarcastic self.
Like tonight when I asked him to wash the girls hair while they were in the tub, he replied with a very hearty, very whiny,
"But I had radiation today".
It's a good thing he said it with a smile.

He still ended up washing their hair.
Punk.

Thanks to all of you who have been praying for us, bringing us dinner, mowing our lawn, and just being here for us. We are so thankful. So. very. thankful.

{35}

2010-05-01T22:37:00.000-07:00

Travis turns the big 35 today!
I do love being 6 years younger then my husband,
mostly because I can give him crap about how old he is,
for like,
ever.

It's good stuff.

I am so thankful for a husband who:

will get me a Sonic Dt. Coke whenever I text him my complete need.
always baths the girls, because by bath time, I'm spent.
tells me I look pretty, even when I'm in my sweats.
always. always. find the energy to entertain his ladies.
can eat twixes by the bucket load.
is louder then any fan, at any Jazz or Aggie game. (it can be embarrassing at times)
works hard to provide for our family.
wakes up with the girls if they need something in the middle of the night.
puts up with my never ending honey do list.
pretends he feels good, just so others don't worry about him.
puts up with my moodiness.
is an amazing daddy.

Words can't express how thankful I am for all he does for us.
I married up.
Big time.

I'm thinking we need to beat the odds and spend the next 35 years together.
I wrote it down, so it's a goal. ;)

Wish him a happy birthday, wont you?

Radiation Planning.

2010-04-26T19:55:00.001-07:00

Today we went to O-town to get Trav all set up for his radiation treatments. They apparently have a great radiation machine here, (state of the art, she called it), but they do the mapping and the planning, and the tattooing (is that a word?) there.

The Dr. first showed us Trav's spine, and I can officially say I know that man inside out. I've seen his brain, spine, and abdomen pictures. (Is it wrong to admit that those pics, especially the brain, freak me out a bit). (Okay, a lot).

Then they took Travis to a room to x-ray him with a grid, over and over again. Then they markered him up, tattooed him, and gave him a CAT scan to make sure that they had those tats right where they should be.

He has 3 little spots going down his chest on the right side, and one on each side. And you should have seen Adyson's face when we told her. It was like he went against everything we've been teaching her....it was pretty entertaining stuff.

Yeah. He's badass. 5 tats in 1 day.
All he needs is a Harley, a leather jacket, and maybe a Mohawk, and we are set.

Radiation will start on the 10th. And only 5 very high doses. We both are a little nervous about how his body will react, especially because his weekly drug treatments already knock him down a bit, but we are feeling pretty optimistic. Everyone reacts differently, but the most common side effect seems to be fatigue. And we can do tired around here just fine. In fact, Trav's mastered it. : )

Thanks to all, again. Will we ever be able to repay all the kindness shown to us?

MRI results.

2010-04-23T11:06:00.000-07:00

Trav's MRI showed no cancer in his spine!!

I cannot tell you how shocked I am. When we met with the radiation Dr. the other day, she was pretty convinced that the results wouldn't be so good.

He does have a bulging disc now. But hey, we will take it!

(It's slightly sad that a bulging disc is good news, isn't it?)

Thanks for all your prayers. We are spending the weekend worry free, and I may even sleep tonight. (Cross your fingers.)

Monday, we head to Ogden to get set up for radiation. And Trav gets some tattoos on his back. SEXY!

Thank you.

2010-04-22T22:12:00.001-07:00

Today I went to lunch with one of my best friends. While we were eating at Cafe Rio (YUM), we were just chatting about what Travis and my day tomorrow will be like.

I said, "Isn't it strange that tomorrow I will be just sitting at home waiting to see if Travis has cancer in his spine? And instead of being totally crazy that I am sitting there waiting for that life changing news, it's just normal for us."

Not to say that I'm not freaking out, because I have miniature birds flying around in my stomach already, and tears are creeping out of my eyes frequently, but this is just life for us now. It's strange. It's strange that it seems normal...does that make any sense??

The past few days we've had a lot of support from family and friends. Plates of brownies, cookies, (Um, people your not helping my emotional eating!!:). People bringing us their favorite "cheer up books", offering to babysit, having their kids mow our lawn, dinner. And the most common phrase is "What can we do?"

Another friend called today just to see what was going on, and told me to remember that all of our friends are going through this with us. They are all fasting, praying, and freaking out along with us.

And I can't tell you how much we appreciate it.
I just wanted to say thank you.
I've got my hopes up that the spine is in good shape, and he really just has old man arthritis, but if the news comes back not so good, I know we have a lot of people who are here to help.

Thanks for being our silver lining!

Another MRI

2010-04-20T14:47:00.001-07:00

We were able to meet with the Radiation Dr. today to see if we could come up with a plan for Trav's radiation.

She said that when you get RCC in a bone (like his rib), it's almost certain you will get it in a few areas. (Brain and Spine). Since he had his brain cleared last week, she wants to see what his spine is looking like.

If you remember, he had some pretty bad back pain a while back, but the x-ray made it seem like it was most likely arthritis.

She feels like because of the growth in his rib, and the back pain, it is time to do an MRI on his spine. She thinks that is the best way to see what's really going on.

So Friday, Trav gets yet another MRI.
And we wait.
Again.

I'll be honest, I'm bracing myself for bad news this time. She made it pretty clear that she thinks that this is the case, and that if it is there, it has probably been there since we found out the cancer was back, but it was too small to see.

We will hopefully get results on Friday, and then on Monday go to Ogden to get another CAT scan and tattoo's and the radiation plan. If it is in his spine, the Dr. will be able to get him zapped there too.

5 days of high doses.

It's gonna be a loooong couple of months.

And the worst part?
Travis was told golfing is gonna be rough, if not non-existent for the rest of the summer due to his rib hurting pretty badly because of the radiation.

Give the man Stage 4 cancer and he does okay, but tell him golfing is out, and he's a mess. (I kid).

We will keep you posted. And thanks again for always checking in!

Pity Party

2010-04-14T22:17:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.

We sat in the room to meet with the radiation Dr. and I was brought back to the day we found out Trav's cancer was back (with a vengeance).

It's hard to explain how easy it is to pretend we are just a normal family. We get pretty used to our life the way it is. It's always there, but we push it back to the farthest darkest corners of our minds till something reminds us of the severity of it all.

Sometimes it just slaps you in the face. Travis will get an ache or pain and my stomach is just in knots for fear that the cancer has taken over another spot in his body. His cankers take over, and it reminds me we are facing something pretty ugly, but for the most part, we are more then happy to deny it, and pretend it's not there.

Back to yesterday.

I sat in the room with the Dr. and just kept wondering "How did we get here? Why us? Why do I have to spend a good chunk of my life worrying about the future? And why does Trav have to go through it all?"

Yesterday I was reminded again how crappy cancer is. I just felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders and left the office thinking about cancer in his brain. Cancer in his spine. Wondering when it will spread, praying it hasn't spread.

I'll admit, I threw me a pretty great pity party. I was a super baby yesterday.

Then this morning I woke up to sun.
I woke up to good news from the Dr. (no cancer in the brain does something for the soul).
Then the Radiation Dr. called and said she has already spoken with the specialist in SL. (Doctors who do things quickly also do good things for the soul).
She thinks that we will do only 5 radiation treatments in really high doses.
Yesterday we were thinking 6-12 weeks of daily treatments, so this is an upgrade.
(We will meet with her on Tuesday and know more then).

Tonight after I got over my selfishness, I checked the blog of someone we know (through the blogging world) who is battling esophageal cancer. My heart just dropped when I read that he had a scan on Friday that revealed his cancer has pretty much taken over. He is young, they have young kids. They don't have a lot of options left for treatments, and are trying to find the balance between fighting, and trusting in the Lord.

I'm ashamed to have spent the day yesterday feeling sorry for myself. Please don't read this and feel like you need to comment on how I'm entitled to have a bad day. I know I am. I know that it's ok, but am writing this down to remind myself that we have been pretty lucky during our fight compared to some. We've had miraculous results, and still have options, and time.

I'm so thankful for that. I'm just going to give myself a little attitude adjustment and try a little harder to treasure what we have. I think it's a good reminder for all of us.

Keep my blogging friends in your prayers. They deserve that.

MRI results

2010-04-14T10:08:00.000-07:00

Trav's results for his MRI were good. (Thank Goodness!)
Now his results will be sent to a specialist in Salt Lake and we will wait for them to come up with a plan, and we will go from there.

Waiting.
What's new?!

Thanks so much for praying, and crossing toes, fingers, and any crossable body parts! Love you all.

Waiting for a plan.

2010-04-13T12:21:00.001-07:00

This morning Travis and I met with the Radiation Dr. We were there for quite a while, but I'll give you the gist of what we learned today.

First, she really isn't %100 sure on how to treat his rib. Renal Cells don't react super well to radiation, and she just wants to get a second opinion from a Dr. in SLC who really understands how to localize his radiation to get optimum results.

We are completely OK with as many doctors as possible checking his case out so he gets what he needs. Unfortunately there is no way to get rid of the spots on his ribs. This will once again, just slow down (or hopefully stop) progression.

I'm a little disappointed about that. I had my hopes up that they could zap it and it would disappear!

Second, she really wants Travis to get another Brain scan to make sure nothing has spread there. She just wants to make sure she has all the information she can get to send to the other Dr.

The MRI is tomorrow, so once again, we are asking for your prayers, and fingers to be crossed. (Do you feel like we just ask and ask?)

Eventually he will need an MRI done on his spine, but the contrast used during an MRI is really hard on Kidneys. Since Travis only has 1 (and 1 with a tumor at that), she'd like to space them out a ways.

She said we are in no hurry to get this done, so we can take our time and make sure we have the right plan in place.

So, we will keep you posted. In the mean time, I will be spending my days tomorrow a little antsy and worried. And drinking a whole lot of Dt coke!

Waiting again.

2010-04-08T21:40:00.000-07:00

We weren't able to meet with the Radiation Doctor today, but have scheduled an appointment for Tuesday. I know that some of you are wondering what's going on, so I thought I'd let you know that once again, we are waiting.

What's new? Doesn't it seem like we are always waiting? ; )

More.

2010-04-06T19:44:00.000-07:00

When Travis finally spoke with the Dr. today, he was a little concerned about the growth on his ribs. We were hoping it wasn't big enough for him to be worried, but that's not the case.

The Dr. wants him to meet with a radiation Dr. (probably on Thursday) to come up with a plan and see if the radiation will help.

We are nervous about another treatment being done. It seems Travis is finally getting used to the crap he gets from his immunotherepy drugs, and now he may have to start something else.

We are however, excited about the chance that the radiation may shrink, or remove the cancer from that spot. The rib causes him the most pain, and it would be quite nice to have it gone!

Wish us luck in the next few weeks!

And as usual, thanks for caring.

Results and an Easter Message.

2010-04-05T21:33:00.000-07:00

Results first:

We have yet to hear from the Doctor, but being the impatient people we are, Trav went and picked them up and we read them for ourselves. (It would have been a Looong night if he hadn't!) It looks like there is no change in his lungs. The spot on his rib is slightly larger (again, stop growing!!), and the tumor in his kidney is slightly larger. The report said that there is nothing unusual on his liver, which is giving us a little hope because there used to be a lesion there, but until we talk to the Dr. we aren't getting too excited about it. That could easily have been an error. But fingers crossed....
We are both thinking that the Dr. wont be super concerned about the growth because it seems very small, but we will see tomorrow for sure. We are feeling much better, and might even sleep tonight! Imagine that.

And Easter Message:

Travis has to write the message for our ward bulletin every few months. I just loved what he wrote this month, and wanted to share it. Have I ever mentioned how awesome my man is? Now you can see for yourselves.

I love this time of year. As spring pushes away winter, life begins again. I love clearing away the last of the dead flowers to reveal new green buds sprouting out of the ground. Feeling the sun after what seemed like an eternity of absence. I can't wait for the smell of fresh cut grass and spring rain. It is a great time of year. It seems like the perfect time to celebrate life and the resurrection of our Savior.

When I think of Easter my mind tends to wander to the picture of the Savior kneeling against a tree in Gethsemane. There he is feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. All of mankind's flaws pushing down on someone who had never had to endure this kind of anguish, because of his perfect existence. He was there with purpose, wishing for the pain to end, but understanding that his mission had to be fulfilled to save us all. My mind then moves to the scene of the cross, where after a full night of suffering he had to be humiliated in front of peers and strangers and die with robbers. A man who had loved, healed and even brought back the dead was forced to hang with common thieves.

Then the Savior of the world rises again. He overcomes death for all of us. All mankind is given the gift of life forever. One day we can all overcome death because of him. As I tell my wife often, I get to dump this "rental" body and get a perfect replica. What an amazing gift! President Gordon B. Hinckley once said, "No event of history has been more certainly confirmed. There is the testimony of all who saw and felt and spoke with the risen Lord. He appeared on two continents in two hemispheres and taught the people before His final ascension. Two sacred volumes, two testaments speak of this most glorious of all events in all of human history. But these are only accounts, the faithless critic says. To which we reply that beyond these is the witness and the testimony, borne by the power of the Holy Ghost, of the truth and validity of this most remarkable event. Through the centuries untold numbers have paid with the sacrifice of their comforts, their fortunes, their very lives for the convictions they carried in their hearts of the reality of the risen, living Lord."

I know that Jesus Christ suffered for each of us. He felt each of our burdens so he could lift us out of our own personal winters and help us find our spring. He will always be there for us if we let him. That is why we can lean on him; trust him to guide us. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter weekend as well. We sure appreciate you all!

It's that time again.

2010-03-31T13:01:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone,

Just wanted to give you all a head's up that it's scan time again. Travis will be going in on Monday and we are praying for decent news. I'm hoping selfishly that you will send a prayer or two our way.

And I know you will, because you are good people.

Enjoy your Easter weekend! I hope it is spent with families, food, and fun.

{Answers}

2010-03-22T23:05:00.000-07:00

Thursday Travis goes in for his 88th treatment.
88.
It's a big number.
88 awful Thursdays.

We just hate Thursdays around here. If I could tell them where to go, I would.

Being Kidney Cancer Awareness Month, I've had it on my mind even more then usual. I've been checking the KCA page on Facebook daily, and am in complete awe of how many people this disease has affected, and how many lives it has changed.

It has most certainly changed ours.

Bear with me while I answer a few ?'s.

These ones are from my mom. I love my mom and am grateful for her feeding us whatever Trav is craving on Thursdays. She's good people.

Why does Travis act so healthy and happy, when I know he never feels good?

I'm not really sure how to answer that question. Travis most definitely doesn't tell people when he's not feeling well, and half the time he doesn't even tell me. I think Trav doesn't like the fuss of people worrying about him. And I think that if you let the cancer seep into every part of your life, it wins. So he pretends he feels good all the time, and life feels a little more normal because of it.

How do you both stay so strong and have so much faith and strength? How do you manage to do so much service for others when you are going through so much yourselves? What can we as a family do to support you more?

Mom, how do you expect me to answer these??

1) We aren't really that strong, and at moments you could call us flat out wusses. And I think we don't have near enough faith and strength.
2)We don't do near enough service, and feel like we could spend a lifetime trying to payback those who have shown us what service really is. We are very well taken care of and have some pretty amazing people on our side!
3)You could buy me lots of clothes. That would really help me out. :)
Really though, we have everything we need, and are thankful for all our family does for us!

Why hasn't Travis lost his hair?

Travis is currently on a chemo/immunotherepy drug called Torisel. It is injected just like a normal chemo through a port, but luckily the side affects don't include him losing his hair. We are pretty grateful for that.

How does Travis still work?

Trav's gets his treatments on Thursdays, and that is usually the hardest day but by Friday he isn't near as tired, but has some chest pains and headaches. He is lucky enough to have a job where he can work in his own area and enjoy the quiet. They treat him pretty good there and can tell when he isn't feeling his best and just leave him alone. I'm always pretty amazed at what a hard worker he is, and am so thankful that that is yet another thing he does for our family.

How exactly does a treatment go?

We just love the cancer center in Logan where Trav gets his treatments. Because he has been going there for so long, he knows the Doc. and the nurses pretty well. They know that he has left work to be there, and they do their best to get him in and out as quickly as possible.

He has a port in his chest that they hook the IV up to. He first gets a bag of benedryl. (This combined with the medicine makes him exhausted)! Once that is all dripped out, he gets his Drug injected. Usually he's there for about 2 hours. The Chemo room is a pretty big room there with 10-12 beds in it, and people hooked up to each one. (And most the time they are much older then him). Sometimes he listens to them and chats with them, but most of the time the benedryl kicks in and he just sleeps through it all.

Thursdays are most definitely the hardest day of the week. He comes home exhausted from the drug treatment and the benedryl. Usually his mouth is really swollen, and he gets pretty bad headaches, chest aches, with the occasional stomach pains.

I'd say for Travis the side effects are awful, but so is going to the cancer center weekly. He hates seeing so many sick people in one room, and some of them just look worse every week. As much as he loves the staff there, it's still a really depressing this to see week after week.

And for me it's hard to send him there knowing that for most people they have an allotted amount of treatments and then they are done, but for Trav, they are endless. He just gets to go for as long as they are working. (Which I pray is a long time!)

What do you need most right now?

Again, we really have all we need, but thanks again to the so many of you who are always doing such wonderful things for us. We are so blessed.

What is the hardest part?

That is a very loaded question, and I can think of like 30 answers right off the bat. In all honesty, it's all hard. (And forgive me if the whining really starts here).

Facing stage 4 cancer, with pretty awful statistics, makes your future pretty unsure. When we were first married we'd make plans for things we'd want to do "in 10 years" or "someday", and it's really, very hard to not be able to do that anymore. We feel a sense of urgency, like we need to fit our whole lifetime in right away. And it's just not possible to do that, but it's also really hard to stop trying.

(Am I making sense here?)

We've had to really think of things that I don't think any couple should have to do for many years to come. Talk about things that we just shouldn't have to talk about yet. And it just plain sucks.

So I guess the answer is really just the unknown of it all is the hardest part. But I'd also say that this answer changes daily. It's always different.

Do your daughters understand?

For us, it's been pretty hard to find the line of what they should know, and shouldn't know. They know Daddy has cancer, but they have no idea how scary it is. Just yesterday Adyson looked at Trav's orange bracelet and said "Dad, do you know what's worse then cancer? Waking up sooo early for school is way harder then cancer." We had a good laugh over that! They know that Thursdays they need to behave, and know that Dad's a little more tired then normal that night, but they still climb all over him and treat him like same ol' dad. And that's such a good thing! They don't treat Trav like hes sick, and remind us daily how important it is to just. live. And it's hard to feel too crappy with them around.

I think if things change with scans, and as time passes by, they will know what they need to know, but for now Dad is just Dad. We like it that way.

We as always, are so thankful for the continued blessings we receive daily. We have friends and family who are always here for us, and know that many of you are praying for us. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts for fighting our battle right along side us. Sure love you all!

Did you know...

2010-03-08T21:57:00.000-08:00

March is Kidney Cancer Awareness month?

Well, now you do. Awesome.

We even bought some fancy orange wristbands with a "Travstrong" logo to prove it.

Also awesome.

I've been thinking of how I can make people more aware of this yucky stuff that seems to rule our lives. Knowledge is power, right?

I thought about giving you simple facts about kidney cancer, but every time I try to write this post it just sounds boring. (Is it wrong to admit that?)

Instead, I've decided you get to ask the questions. I think this is a great way to get people to be more educated about this cancer.

So, either e-mail me at hayley429@hotmail.com, or ask in the comments section and make your name anonomys, and I will answer anything. I'll even research the answer if I don't know it. (That's love people.)

Your question can be anything cancer related from why in the world Trav looks so healthy to what treatment days are like, Just don't ask anything too wierd...

We are officially open books.

(I'm a little scared that this is gonna backfire and you all will be too scared to ask. Don't leave me hanging friends.)

To read more about Kidney cancer go here. www.kidneycancer.org

Rambling.

2010-02-09T00:23:00.000-08:00

Have you noticed that we tend to just ignore this blog? I think it's a pretty good metaphor mirroring how we deal with T's cancer. We like to just let it sit in the back of our minds, but don't like to stir things up too often. Call it denial if you will, but we like it this way! ;)

Just remember. No news = Good news.

Since my last post things have been going pretty well. Trav's back pain was pretty unbearable for a while there till they figured out what was going on. Since he only has 1 kidney he has to be careful with the pain meds he is taking, so the Doc. prescribed him some Celebrex.

You know Celebrex right? It's the commercial that is chuck full of old peeps.

We just laugh. But, it has helps and for that we are so thankful!

The last few weeks I've been reflecting quite a bit on the journey we've been on in the last few years. I've stumbled on to a lot of blogs of others who are facing a cancer battle of their own, and it always sends little pictures in my mind of moments we've experienced because of this trial. I remember clear back to the first diagnosis going from thinking he had an ulcer, to learning he has a massive tumor in his kidney, to his kidney being removed all within 2 weeks. I've looked back to that brief moment in time when we thought the cancer was completely gone, and had a few years of "normalcy" before it returned. And when I think back to those times I realize that even then we were completely changed. It's one of those things that I just can't explain, and cannot begin to describe.

I remember the feeling of complete despair the day we found out it came back, and came back with a bang. And when I look back on those first few months I wonder how in the world we've made it to the happy place we are in now.

Really, right now we live life with cancer clear at the back of our minds. Sure, we have days where it is there, but we've learned to find a beautiful balance of normalcy. We have a really wonderful life together, and have learned to accept our future whatever it may be, but we wont let this effect our present. We are too busy cherishing our little ladies, and spoiling them rotten. We are to busy sleeping in Saturday mornings, snuggling in front of the fire while watching American Idol, and getting fired up at each other over board games.

I get scared that we are at this point, because it seems that whenever we get used to "life" again, somehow, something comes along and knocks us down, but it sure is nice to come together as a family, and let that be our focus.

I'm so thankful for those of you who have been here for us to help us find our groove. I'm not naive enough to think that our lives will always be full of this balance we have acquired. I know that our future has a whole lot of unsure holes in it, and I know that I may fall apart many times ahead, but for right now, life just feels so good!

Trav's doing good and we have another month before scan time rolls around, so I imagine I'll continue to ignore this blog till then. (It's for the best, do you see how much I ramble once I start?)

Thanks for all the continued prayers, and the buckets of love.

You are stellar friends. (And, btw, I love the word Stellar.)

A scare.

2009-12-07T21:22:00.000-08:00

Last week Travis started having some pretty bad lower back pain. It persisted through the whole week, so when he went in for his treatment on Thursday he mentioned it to his doctor. The doctor said it could be just a pulled muscle (fingers crossed), but it possibly could mean that his cancer has spread to his spine.

Friday Travis went in for an x-ray in the afternoon, and we spent the weekend terrified and waiting.

I wish there was some way I could explain the anguish of waiting for results this big. This life changing.

If it had spread, that would mean the treatments that have miraculously been working thus far, have stopped.

It would mean that once again, we'd have to start brand new in figuring out how to deal with this awful disease, and I don't really think emotionally, (I) could handle it.....

But, after waiting all weekend with visions of doom, we learned that Travis has arthritis in his spine, or degenerative spine disease.

We don't know much about it, but what we've found out by looking on line is that it is just gonna cause him pain (more pain. Poor Travis), and sometimes it will flair up, and others he wont feel it at all.

We are so relieved that the cancer hasn't spread. And I find it a bit sad and pathetic that we are all so happy that he has arthritis.

Over the weekend we had so many people praying for us, and so many people fasting for us. I can't tell you how very blessed we felt. We have beautiful friends with big old hearts. You all mean the world to us.

Thank you.

Travis is thinking of starting a pool: Which body part will fail him next? (He said it jokingly..)

Results

2009-11-06T13:04:00.000-08:00

The Doctor's office closes at 12:30 on Friday's, so Travis went and picked up the results from the Hospital and read them himself...

As far as we can tell, things are looking pretty good! The spot on his rib grew a tiny bit, but it seems everything else is the same. If the Doctor says something different on Monday, I will update the blog.

Thanks again for thinking of us, praying for us, and being there for us. It's humbling to have so many people looking out for you.

Friday....

2009-11-04T08:39:00.000-08:00

Hey all,

Start Praying.
Crossing your fingers.
And your toes.
Fasting, if you wish.
Thinking happy good thoughts.
Wishing, silently and out loud.
and if you have a lucky underwear, wear them.

Cause it's scan time again.

Friday.

Because of some scheduling stuff, instead of 3 months since his last one, it's been 5. I'm a little nervous. Were hoping to see results Friday afternoon, but if not, after a VERY long weekend, we will get them Monday.

Either way, we will let you know.
Thanks in advance for those of you who are taking my list above seriously. We appreciate you all!

I hope I win.

2009-10-23T12:35:00.001-07:00

www.sweetlifeinthevalley.com

Click there for a free trip to D-land!

Bryon

2009-09-28T12:16:00.000-07:00

One thing about being in the cancer club is that you are really never, ever alone. Someone understands what you are going through, someone has been there, and someone always knows someone who has been there.

A while back my brother found out someone he served his mission with has cancer. Doing a bit of research he found his family has a blog.

www.bryonscrappycancer.blogspot.com

Sound familiar?

Stage 4.

Sound familiar?

2 beautiful little girls.

Sound familiar?

And one hot, awesome wife.

Sound familiar? :)

Reading through their blog always reminds me that there is someone out there who really understands it all. This family gets the uncertainty that comes with it all. They get the ups and downs.

Bryon's cancer is Gioblastoma, and his road has been different and I dare say more difficult than ours. He is now unable to work, and is doing a clinical trial that I pray will work for their family. They have amazing attitudes (I can tell through their blog), and just seem to be amazing people.

Their blog is auctioning off items right now. All of the proceeds will go to their family. They deserve this, trust me.

Why don't you head here. Read there story, and check to see if you need anything!

{71}

2009-09-25T11:28:00.000-07:00

Trav had his 71st treatment yesterday. Ugh. 71.
When he informed me of the number last night, I tried to do the math of how many he will have to do to live to 84. (All I'm asking for is 50 more years. Just 50).

Obviously, I don't do math with that big of numbers.

Thankfully the mouth sores are all but gone, and were hoping this time they stay away! Thanks to all of you who gave us your canker advice.

Last night we put the kids to bed and I drug him downstairs to watch the premier of Grey's Anatomy. (I need to make it clear that I drug him, and this wasn't by his choice). We both just had to laugh at the scenes with Izzy and when she speaks of when you hear stage 4 cancer, you just assume you wont make it. You never assume you will just have to learn to "live with it".

We feel you Izzy.

Of course, we aren't complaining. Cause we sure like the living part.
I'm just saying.
We feel you Izzy.

Things are going fine here. His mouth is feeling better, and he's golfing tonight, so he must be doing okay...:) Thanks for checking in!

Weekend Plans?

2009-09-10T22:06:00.001-07:00

Our family will be going here Friday night.

You should too.
I can't imagine a better way to spend your Friday night, or a better way to spend a few bucks!

The canker conundrum

2009-09-07T23:50:00.000-07:00

This weekend has been a bit of a rough one. Travis woke up on Thursday morning with 4 cankers, and by Thursday afternoon, he had 6, and had to get a treatment.

Friday morning he woke up swollen, and his poor mouth was in some serious pain. When he got home from work I tried to count the cankers, and am guessing he had somewhere around 15 cankers!
Ouch, right?

The past few days he's talked very little, and eaten very little, but I'm really thinking that they will start to heal soon, and thankfully this week is his off week for treatments. Let's hope that this off week gives him a boost and he can feel better!

Any tips on how to cure his canker conundrum?

I really didn't get on this blog to write about Travis today, I just wanted to post a link to Taylie's (the little cutie I wrote about in my last post) website. This weekend they are having a carnival fundraiser, and they have a few other activities coming up.

Click below to check it out, and donate any way you can.
www.tayliebug.com

Cancer.is.awful.

2009-08-20T21:38:00.001-07:00

Last night as I was settling down for the night, checking blogs, e-mails, and catching up on celebrity gossip, I got an e-mail that a friend's daughter, who is only 4, has just been diagnosed with AML Leukemia.

I just sat here and cried and ached for my friend. Then cried some more.
I hate cancer. Really, I do.

I've been thinking none stop about this nightmare that they are facing. Thinking about my kids, and just wanting to squeeze them. Thinking about my friend, and just knowing how much she must ache watching her child go through this. It is so unfair, and so wrong. So wrong.

I also thought a lot about what we went through those first few days after finding out about Travis. I thought of the shock, the sadness, and the fear. Some of it's really blurry, like I don't remember cooking, or eating for that matter. I don't remember getting my kids ready or entertaining them at all. But I will never forget sitting in the Doctors office hearing the news. I remember what I was wearing. I remember the snow, I remember being embarrassed because I hadn't done my make-up yet, and I remember telling my family and friends.

I relived that in my mind last night, and felt that pit it my stomach because I know that a friend is experiencing this same thing, though maybe worse because it's her child. Her baby.

And then I thought about what's going on in my life now. We are in the same situation we were 2 years ago when Trav's cancer returned. Treatments every week, scans every 3 months, blah blah blah, but somehow those feelings have (maybe not disappeared) but lessened. Why? How have we gone from those awful feelings we first had, to feeling normal again?

I realized it's because we have had so much support. So many prayers sent our way. We have friends who help when we need them by bringing dinner, mowing the lawn, or just being here to chat. Friends who let us cry when we need to, and complain when we need to. Friends that help us laugh and help us forget. And we've have had so much time to digest it all.

So tonight I first want to say thank you again to our friends. Till last night I hadn't realized how much we've healed in the past 2 years, and I think that we owe you all for that. We are very, very blessed. And second, I want you to add my friend and her family to your prayers. I pray that her family has the support that we have had while they fight their fight, because it helps so much. No one should have to watch their child experience something so awful, and I hope with all my heart that their family will experience some of the beauty we've felt, while they are going through this hell.

(I'm not sure if they want the world to know their business, so I will keep their names to myself for now, but please, remember them today.)

Oh, and for those of you who come here to check on Trav, he is still plugging away. His treatments are still weekly, and he has found that taking 5 hour energy on treatment day actually helps a bit. (who knew?) His mouth has been swelling a bit still, but the cankers aren't as frequent. A new addition to his side affects have been pretty bad chest pains Thursday nights and Friday days. He still has a great attitude, and I still dig him. I'm thinking a scan her in a few weeks, so we will let you know.

Relay For Life

2009-07-15T00:07:00.001-07:00

Friday night our little fam went to the Relay For Life at USU. We've been invited to attend for the last few years, and either because we've been busy, or ahem, just ignoring and pretending cancer isn't a part of our lives, we have yet to attend.

This year we sucked it up and realized that yes, we are part of the club.

I wasn't expecting it to be quite as emotional, and empowering as it was. The field was covered in tents, people were everywhere wearing their team shirts, and their purple survivor shirts. Care givers were there with their loved ones showing support. And so many people were there just to show they cared.

Amazing.

After a lovely speech given by a girl about her battle with cancer (she couldn't have been older than 30), the cancer survivors, all donning their purple t's, gathered at one end of the track, and the caregivers gathered at the other, and they met in the middle.

This was beautiful, sad, fabulous, a bit of awful, and beyond memorable all rolled into one.

Beautiful to see so many survivors. Every age, many sizes, and I'm sure, many types of cancer. It just gave me hope.

Sad to see so many there. Don't get me wrong, I know it's great to see so many survivors together, but it's also so sad to see just how many people have been affected by it. Just.so.sad.

Fabulous to see so many people surrounding the track, tears in their eyes, clapping and cheering for those who have battled though it. As we walked the track together, I couldn't help but feel the love of those cheering. It's very obvious that these are people who have gone through, or are currently going through what we are dealing with. People who really understand the highs and the lows. Amazing (Yes, I said it again, but I have no other words.)

And Awful to see so many children there. I can't imagine. Awful to see so many people who are still fighting, and obviously not feeling 100%. It just made me ache for so many people there.

And Memorable. Travis seemed to tower over the people he was walking with (not to mention he was the only one in blue because he hadn't changed his shirt yet) and I could see him coming down the track from the start. My heart was chuck full of love for him right then. I will never forget watching him walk with so many who have beaten the disease he has. I felt (and still feel) so very proud of him.

Here's a few pics of the night.

Trav and the ladies finishing the survivor/care giver walk. They do take mighty fine care of him if you ask me. :) Do you spot Adyson and I? Trav and Sienna are behind us a bit. Notice all the people clapping on the sidelines.

And don't you think he just looks SEXY in purple?

I'm just sayin'

We joked that his shirt should say surviving, instead of survivor.

And here's the whole fam.

Results

2009-07-02T18:26:00.000-07:00

I am happy to report that things are still looking stable...Wahoo!
There is a very small amount of growth in the rib, but nothing to be concerened about.

We are pleased and ready to celebrate our 4th now. I hope your weekend is full of fun!

Oops..

2009-06-29T22:58:00.001-07:00

They rescheduled the scan for Wednesday afternoon. I imagine we wont see results till Thursday.

That just gives you all more time to pray. ;)

Tomorrow...

2009-06-29T13:41:00.001-07:00

...is yet another scan.

Blah.

Wish us luck, and wish us shrinkage!

Results

2009-04-07T15:05:00.001-07:00

The mets in his lungs have stayed the same.
The spot on his rib has grown a tiny bit, but nothing that concerns them.
The spot on his kidney has grown, but again, just barely, and nothing that concerns them.
And I think the spot on his liver is the same.

We are happy that the treatments continue to work, and so grateful for all your prayers! I'd be happier if there wasn't any growth, but we take what we can get!

FYI

2009-04-04T23:22:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that Travis has his scan set for Tuesday morning.

This should explain me screening phone calls, being extremely emmotional, and living in my sweats.

I'm feeling a wide variety of emotions that range from terrified to optimistic and hopeful. It seems sometimes that we get used to this, and then scan time comes and the severity of what we face hits us head on again.

And if your wondering: it sucks.

Feel free to send happy thoughts and prayers in this direction. We sure feel them.

Have I mentioned how much we appreciate our friends and family?

We do. Thanks to all.

50

2009-03-16T19:16:00.000-07:00

Travis is mad at me for not updating the cancer blog. Seriously, he's giving me crap about it right now. Sheesh.

He had his 50th (wow) treatment the other day. His cankers are pretty under control and he is feeling pretty good. His rib is doing much better it was, it still hurts at times, but he is in no where near the pain he was in for a while. We are so thankful for that!

Scan time will come the first week of April, so we will keep you all posted then!

Rambling.

2009-01-21T22:43:00.001-08:00

Goodness I suck at keeping this thing up!

There isn't a whole lot going on right now. Travis is headed to a treatment tomorrow and then he gets a week off before he goes back. We love weeks off around here!! The pain in his rib seems to come and go, sometimes he feels pretty good (unless he lifts too much or raises his arms too high), and others he is in quite a lot of pain. I really hope that somehow this rib heals on its own.

The Dr. has mentioned him trying another drug on top of his weekly. This one is meant to strengthen the bones which sounds lovely, but the side effects do not. One of them, which is rare...but still, is that you lose the muscles in your mouth. Boo. We like to talk, and he likes to eat...so we aren't really sure how we feel about it!

It seems like we are just getting used to the treatments that he has been going through the last year and the thought of starting yet another drug isn't all that enticing. We will talk to the Dr. more about this before we make any decisions. I wish we could stop making hard decisions!!

Other than that life is good and we are doing just fine. We always appreciate the many dinners, calls, and e-mails we get and hope you all know how taken care of and loved we feel! I mean seriously people, we are so thankful!

I'll updated if something noteworthy happens.

Happy New Year?

2008-12-28T15:16:00.000-08:00

Bronchitis has hit the Johnson side of the family. I mean really hit us. My dad, Cody, Amy, Heather, Jody, Brielle, Kutter, Me, and Travis too. (And I think Sienna may be starting it as well.) It is no fun for any of us, but especially not for T.

Today he coughed so hard that he broke his cancerous rib. I'm sure it was so weak due to the tumor that it just snapped. And he is in a whole lot of pain.

We spent the afternoon at the ER. The Dr. there said usually with a broken rib you just wait and eventually it will heal itself, but they aren't sure if it will heal at all due to the crappy cancer. We will talk to his Dr. tomorrow to see what he thinks. Till then he is doped up on percocet and I am doped up on lortab.......has anyone seen our kids? (I'm kidding).

At least we were all healthy through Christmas! Wish us luck and wish Travis a pain free night!

No News. Happily.

2008-12-18T23:19:00.000-08:00

Maybe this blog wasn't such a good idea, I don't really have anything new to add to it! But hey, no news is good news, right?

We are really enjoying the Holiday Season without cancer looming over us. Last year it was always there, but this year, we are forgetting about it and just enjoying every second!

Travis doesn't have a treatment for the next 2 weeks, and we are all very happy about it! He hopefully will be canker free, and will be able to feel %100 throughout!

I hope you all have a great Christmas! We sure appreciate all of you who read this, and those of you who are always praying for us. We love you!

Results

2008-12-08T17:34:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to quickly let everyone know that the treatments continue to work. There wasn't any shrinkage, but at least everything stayed the same!

We are now ready to celebrate Christmas!!

Thank you.

2008-12-04T22:42:00.000-08:00

Where do I begin? Bear with me, I have a point. I'll get there eventually.

Next Thursday marks 1 year since Trav's cancer has returned. For the last week it's all I've been able to think about. I've been trying to think of ways to celebrate one more year of life for Travis. And I think he should be awfully proud of himself. He drags himself into the Cancer center week after week, and his body is tired. I wish I could express how thankful I am to him for doing it with such an amazing spirit.

I love him.

Today travis has a treatment, and then afterward set up his scan for Monday. And I've been a bag of tears all day long. I'm terrified. Last year at this time, the news was not good. I really need it to be good!! I've been running on empty for the last few days, and have felt blue and nervous all at the same time. You'd think that we would be use to this, but I'm not.

I had a big church party tonight for my calling in the ward. It's taken a lot of work, and I've stayed up hours to late each night trying to get myself organized. I don't think I've ever felt so worn out, physically and emotionally. I got home around 9:00, put my jammies on, and sat around in my messy house not wanting to move. Feeling a bit empty inside.

And then a dear friend came over to drop off a very generous gift for us, and I wish there was some way to say thank you. Cancer makes every aspect of life hard. We wonder daily how long his treatments will last. We pray nightly that "daddy will get better". We hope. We cry a lot, still, even after a year. We get angry. We pay medical bills. Travis feels tired. I worry. And through all the bad stuff, we are always looking for the good stuff. And it seems that most of the time we can find it in bulk. Most of the time we are thankful for the little things we have. We realize how lucky we are that we have a beautiful home, and two overly happy little girls. But today was one of those days for me, when all I could see was the bad. This gift touched my heart more than I will ever be able to say. It made me remember how blessed we are, how loved we are, and how many people are there to support us. Once again, our home was full of Christmas spirit tonight, and my heart was softened. I still can't hold in the tears.

Thank you. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you! You will never know how much you have helped, and could not have picked a better day to remind me how loved we are. I don't feel that this is Thank you enough, but I hope you all know how much it meant to us. There should be more people like you in this world.

Thank you.

40

2008-11-13T23:23:00.001-08:00

Today Travis had his 40th treatment. Ugh. 40.

He is still doing pretty good, and hopefully this weeks treatment doesn't change that. *Thinking happy thoughts and zero cankers...*

He spoke in church on Sunday and I wanted to write a bit on what he spoke on. There is a woman who Trav has met at the cancer center. She got into a car accident a few years ago and is now a paraplegic. And now she is battling breast cancer. She comes in weekly for her treatments, in her wheel chair. She has no strength, she is losing her hair, and she is exhausted. Travis says she is always smiling, and has a great attitude.

I can't even begin to imagine.

So yes, we hate that today he had is 40th treatment. (And I've told him he has HUNDREDS more to go), but we are constantly reminded that there are many, many people who have it worse. We hear their stories often, and Travis meets these new amazing people every week, and we are constantly amazed at some people strength, and the examples they set for us.

This is me finding a silver lining. :)

Update

2008-11-06T22:29:00.000-08:00

I suck at updating this thing! But just remember no news is good news!

Since our last update Trav has been in for 2 treatments, (one being done today), and he is feeling pretty good. The cankers have been much less aggressive and his ribs haven't been hurting near as much as well, and we really can't complain.

In December we hit our 1 year treatment mark, what a long year!!!! I am trying to talk Trav into letting me do something fun with him to celebrate. I think he deserves a party or something, being that he has been so amazing this last year! He thinks I'm weird for wanting to throw him a 1 year of cancer mark, I look at it as 1 year of life...but I guess I'm the optimist.

Any ideas for a fun cancer treatment party??? I'm at a loss. Seriously. Ideas?

Treatment Day

2008-10-23T22:14:00.000-07:00

Trav went in for another treatment today, and came home exhausted. Before each treatment he gets a bag full of Benedryl injected into him, and boy does it make him tired! He goes back to work and gets through the day (very groggy), and comes home ready to relax. We take it easy here on Thursday nights!

The cankers have been MUCH much better, and he has actually been feeling pretty good, and for that we are thankful!

On a random note: did anyone watch Grey's tonight? It was interesting to watch them take the kidneys out of their patients, because Travis has had this done. I actually have a picture of Trav's kidney in my e-mail inbox, glorious tumor and all, but can't decide if it is too gruesome to post on my blog....

Anyways, thanks for checking in. We always appreciate it!

I've found...

2008-10-12T21:05:00.000-07:00

that our emotions come in waves. Most of the time we are oddly used to what we are facing. We joke about it often. We pull the "cancer card" whenever we can. We are used to weekly treatments, cankers, and everything that comes along with it.

But now and again, oh my, we are flooded with emotion.

I remember it happening once when I was on the phone with my sister. It was a normal day, I was running to Wal-mart (we always call each other on our Wal-mart runs, I think it's our way to feel like we live closer to each other...) and I found myself driving with tears streaming down my face.

I just had to get it all out.

And it's happened many times when we are just home together. I've woken poor Trav up at 2 a.m. before just to because...

I had to get it all out.

And I guess it's needed now and then to find that emotional side, and then get back to normal. It makes us feel closer to those we share those moments with. It grounds us and makes us remember what we are facing, and then life goes back to normal.

But I'm thinking it gets a little embarrassing to get it all out in church.

Yes friends, that happened to me today. And goodness, did I get it all out. And then some.

The lesson was all about trials. And I was overcome with mine. I want to make it clear to those who witnessed my very embarrassing display today, that I wasn't crying a woe is me cry. (well, maybe I was...but just a little). Mostly I was overcome with a few different thoughts. She spoke of looking back on our trials when they are over, and realizing all the good that came out of them. And right then I was able to think of a few good things that have happened to me.

Such as how close I feel to my ward members. I am at home when I am at church. I am greeted by people who I know are praying for us, and who genuinely care for us. I don't know that I would be able to open myself up to them so much, if we weren't facing this.

And I thought of how close I am to my husband. I think we have learned to really appreciate the little things we have. We shrug off silly little things that we maybe would have argued over before. Now I'm not saying we don't have our moments...cause we do, but our marriage is a good one.

And the thing that really got me to sobbing, yes I honestly sat there sobbing, I did the ugly cry. (I'm so very embarrassed), was when she talked of how God only gives us trials that we can handle.

We can do this. We can do this. Somehow we can do this.

I just had to get it all out.

I apologize for the sappy posts once again. It's really therapeutic for me to write it all down, and I feel like someday I'm gonna want to remember it all....

Meet...

2008-10-09T18:13:00.001-07:00

Travis. I've given him a guilt trip and told him he really should post something on this blog. I mean, he's the one with the cancer-right. So after much begging and some Cafe Rio Tamales, I talked him into it. He's usually witty and sarcastic, so Enjoy him, and don't take him too seriously! And now you can see yet another reason why I love him so.

First of all if you are reading this I want to thank you for your prayers and concern. It is really nice to have so many people that care.

It is always hard for me to talk about my cancer. I think it is because everyday but Thursday I am in denial. I generally don't like to think about it at all. So instead of writing about how crappy cancer is, I am going to write about the great people that help take care of me.

I just had my 36th treatment today at the Logan Cancer Clinic. It might be a little pathetic that I have kept track of the number, but I can't wait for my weeks off so that makes it easy. Every time I go in there I appreciate how welcome the staff makes me feel. They always call me and everyone else there by name, which is pretty impressive due to the fact that there are a lot of people there (that's a little depressing too but I regress). I can't believe how much each of the nurses remember about what is going on in my life and I can't thank them enough for how great they are. It would be awful to go to the center without them.

I also think my doctor is pretty amazing as well. He also seems to remember everything. I will never forget when he had to tell us that the cancer was back, because I could tell how hard it was for him to break the news. I knew then that he actually cared.

I hope one day we can repay these people for making such a not so great experience better.

I also have to thank my family. Without them I don't think I could do any of this. They are definitely the reason I get up everyday. My girls are awesome. They actually like to look at daddy's scars and are amazed at how my medicine goes into my port when they come to visit at the doctors office. My Hayley is also pretty great. She takes care of me no matter how I feel, and that can vary a lot from day to day. I would definitely be a mess without her.

Anywho I can't complain about my life. I have the best family I could have. They are perfect. I wouldn't change anything if it meant I had to be without any of them.

Hayley speaking now: He's great, no? Here's a little update on how he is feeling now. Last week he got 8, yes 8, cankers and opted not to go in for a treatment because he didn't want to risk getting more. I am more than happy to report that they are finally going away and his mouth is feeling much better. Lets all hope that today's treatment doesn't make them return. The rib is feeling okay too, so we aren't complaining. Thanks for checking in!

Make that...

2008-10-02T19:49:00.000-07:00

7.

Ugh.

Wow...

2008-10-01T20:08:00.001-07:00

2 posts in one day. Impressive.

Just thought I would add that the running total of cankers today is 5.

How crappy is that?

So if you are a friend of Trav's, and he ignores you, or glares at you, or just wont talk to you-don't take it personally. He is just in pain.

I'm going to come up with a cure for cankers and mouth sores, and be rich.

Welcome...

2008-10-01T14:04:00.000-07:00

to the Cancer blog. Hopefully I will be better about updating on how he is doing here!

For the Last few weeks Trav's rib has been hurting pretty badly, making him pretty miserable. He did discuss it with the Doc. and he told us just to watch it and if it seems to get worse we will do another scan. His rib has gone through stages where it aches pretty bad and then the ache goes away, so we are hoping that is what happens this time!

The cankers have returned...sadly enough, and his mouth and tongue are swollen. So right now he isn't feeling top notch. His mouth has been doing really good till the last few treatments, so hopefully he will return to that state again soon.

Other then the same old crappy cankers and sore rib, he is doing pretty good. I always feel so blessed that his attitude is so good. He really is amazing to me!

Thanks for checking in!

More?

2008-09-30T22:36:00.000-07:00

To read our whole journey, you can link to our family blog below and tab back to the beginning.

http://haykid.blogspot.com/search/label/Cancer